#and it turns out people have made some pretty amazing fanart and stories about them
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Sometimes. Sometimes old crossover ships you had ten years ago rear back up and get stuck in the hyperfixation rotation. And there's nothing you can do about it but ride it out and go spelunking into the depths of your ao3 bookmarks
#Sword speaks#it's Hiccup/Jack Frost if you're curious#look#I imprinted real fucking hard Mr. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III#I related to him very muchly and still do#and I thought Jack was attractive mostly cause I find Chris Pine and his voice to be very attractive#and then RotBTD happened#and when tumblr started shipping them how the fuck could I not?#and it turns out people have made some pretty amazing fanart and stories about them#ultimately what I'm saying is if you judge you're against the gays and theys winning
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i have not actually watched ml since season 3. but i've kept up with it through exactly 1 ml blog that i follow. they're funny and they make amazing fanart and fanfic and their gushing about ml is infectious. them gushing about the show's writing (all of it. seasons 1-5) in and of itself has endeared me to the show. i like positivity on my feed and i love their specific brand of positivity centered around ml. so then. and i need to preface this by saying this isn't a criticism of either blog. the situation itself is just funny to me. imagine the whiplash when half of the ml coverage on my feed is one fandom writer i really look up to talking about how much they genuinely love season 5 and then the other half of the ml coverage on my feed is the other fandom writer i really look up to talking about how the show sucks so bad but what if it didn't. the whiplash is killing me.
Here's the thing: In many ways, we're both right. Me and that other person. Because, at the end of the day, Miraculous Ladybug is a story, and whether a person thinks a story is good or not is highly subjective.
Is the overall writing of ML good? No. No it is not, overall it tends to average out as pretty mid for its demographic. (This is accounting for the presence of examples of both extremely good writing and extremely bad writing, thus averaging out to something a bit more middle ground.)
Is the high concept of ML S-tier? Yeeeeeesssssssssss~!!!
Is the story of ML good? Now that one's more complicated. To me, it has a lot of potential, but just... flaws. So, so many flaws. A painful number of flaws. However, I'm also not the target demographic - I'm an adult in my 30s with an English degree in literary analysis. Moments of weakness in character writing and plot tend to stick out at me light big ol' glaring lights.
To someone more in the age range the show's meant for, or who's better at turning off their inner critic and just focusing on the good, they're probably getting a lot more out of the show's good moments, like the fun powers, creative enemies and fights, the slowburn agony, a really good cast of characters, and the times the storytelling works well.
I don't like the overall writing of Miraculous Ladybug, how it handles character growth/development, and many other things. I'll fully admit, I'm probably closer to being an anti-fan than a regular fan. I'll also admit that I'd be willing to let a lot more slide if it weren't for a few key details that are very real mistakes that shouldn't have been included as they are (ex: Marinette's stalking being normalized as cute, Chloe being established as a victim of severe emotional abuse at the hands of a parent and then written off as irredeemable, those were seriously not okay writing choices). Most of the rest of the issues I take with it are, in truth, subjective things that other people obviously enjoy (ex: the list I just made adjusting the powers and abilities of some of the Miraculous, which was SUPER subjective). At the end of the day, though, I wouldn't care at all if I didn't think there were elements of this show that are truly fantastic.
TL;DR: The majority of my reasons for disliking this show are super subjective, bar a key few that are serious problems that the writers should have addressed ages ago.
Thanks for the ask!
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February 7th
On February 7th, 2022, I opened up a google doc.
It was roughly two weeks after a pretty nasty anniversary, and while I had done a lot of healing over the previous year, the anniversary had come and gone with a mixed bag of feelings (and a very very large cake just for me).
There was a lot I wanted to process, but mostly I just... wanted an escape. I wanted comfort. I wanted to create a world that could give me that.
So I started writing.
The Stranding turns 1 year old today. As of the time of writing this (6:22pm January 31st, 2023), the original document is 450 pages and 200,613 words long and currently mid-scene as I take a break to get some thoughts out.
When I started writing it, I never had any goal of posting it anywhere. It was just me, taking a couple of characters that had lived in my head for years and the story I had vaguely pieced together, and getting them onto a page that I could come back to and fiddle with or just read over and over again to give myself some kind of catharsis.
A week later, I uploaded the first 5 chapters to AO3.
Twelve days after that, I opened a new google doc, and started writing The Rescue.
When I had decided to actually post what I had been working on, I did it with the thought that if it gave one person something to read, something to enjoy, that fit a niche that they had been looking for, that I'd be happy. That if ONE PERSON could find what I did, what I put effort into, and knew that they could find something they liked without having to create it all for themselves, I'd have done immense good.
Both The Stranding and The Rescue are sitting on AO3 right now with thousands of views, hundreds of kudos, and dozens of comments from people who found something I started making just for myself and liked it enough to let me know. To keep coming back.
I came to this website to find people who liked the same things I did, and I found them, and they liked what I did almost as much as I liked what they did, and that has blown me away. I've made incredible friends, wonderful connections. People have chatted with me about their own creative endeavors. I've gotten Fan Art of my characters and stories, for god's sake... there's a piece of Henry and Melanie in the bath because something I wrote just for me-- selfishly and indulgently-- resonated with someone else enough that they made fanart of it. (Thank you so much Alex, I love you to bits).
I never would've thought I could've written 100,000 words. I never would've believed I could've written 200,000. Today, across my works and shorts and the unpublished pieces/chapters/arcs I have in my google drive, I have almost half a million words written.
In less than a year.
I never would've thought that right now I would (should be, anyway, I'm scheduling this a week out so knock on wood) be part way through my flights to the states to visit the most amazing person I have ever had the joy of getting to know, even just a little. All because in July, they sent me a message on Tumblr to let me know they liked what I wrote. What I shared.
Last year I let myself be unrestrained. I let myself do what I wanted to do, with no care for anyone else beyond that I was doing no harm. I shared myself in a way I had never truly shared myself before; I opened my heart so wide that light got into basically every crack and crevice and landed on every single flaw and scar.
And today?
Today I'm gonna get to smooch @adjacentperception
Happy Anniversary to the most ridiculously impactful decision I ever made. <3
[Update] Flights delayed BUT it's still gonna happen, just later now
#Belle rambling#The Stranding#The Rescue#Happy Anniversary Mel & Henry#g/t#giant/tiny#giant tiny#g/t author#g/t writing#gtauthor#author thoughts#gt#big little thoughts#The Smoochaggedon begineth
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tagged by @hakkiofficial <33 ty bestie!!
1. what book are you currently reading?
already said it in my other tag game post but it's @stjohnstarling's novel the sacred sins of father black! it's the story of a fbi agent in pursuit of a wine forgers gang, who arrives in a small town with a mysterious and morally ambiguous priest 😌
2. what do you usually wear?
most of the time, i'm wearing pretty bland (but comfy) outfits composed of jeans or sweatpants, with t-shirts and sweaters lol. the t-shirts only sometimes happen to be like, bright orange camp half-blood ones i bought on etsy...
i do wear colorful/flowery long skirts from time to time, though!
3. how tall are you?
161cm tall!
4. what’s your star sign? do you share a birthday with a celebrity or historical event?
taurus! my birthday is on may 8th and i literally share it with hiromu arakawa :-)
5. do you go by your name or a nickname?
i go by sam online and by my legal first name irl. my friends use a nickname derivated from the latter!
6. did you grow up to become what you wanted to be as a child?
not really, but, hey, i am still young and learning how to live! i still have time to work towards these goals! <- has been crying because they don't have the art skills they wished they would have when they would be older, while their art student friends have been greatly improving for obvious reasons. the feeling of falling behind is constantly present these days lads.... u_u"
7. what’s something you’re good at vs something you’re bad at?
i think i'm pretty great at reading (fast) and noticing misspellings on other people's texts when tasked with proofreading (yes this is very specific lmao).....also i've been doing my duolingo norwegian lessons daily for almost three months now and i'm amazed by the fact i've managed to stick to this one (1) routine when i usually am not able to keep up with this kind of thing. learning that language has done wonders to my self esteem for some reason WDXSKDHFKS
hmmm i'm bad at relaxing and getting things done. and i'm kind of a shitty sibling :/
8. if you draw/write, or create in any way, what’s your favorite picture/favorite line/favorite etc. from something you created this year?
not from this year but one of my favorite written works is an old fanfiction wip i wrote back in 2019 (i think) and have been re-reading with my friends last week. they ended up binge-reading the manga it's based on thanks to me and... i don't have any specific favorite line but receiving compliments on this piece of writing from them made my day and i am even more proud of it <3
9. dogs or cats?
cats, obviously. my favorite creatures....
10. what’s something you would like to create content for?
i want to draw mob psycho fanart!! but i'm too scared to start, it's really stupid 😭
11. what’s something you’re currently obsessed with?
the conman with his autistic boy apprentice show, of course. and also, french political history documentaries have been rotting my brain...
12. what’s something you were excited about that turned out to be disappointing this year?
well. university 🚬
13. what’s a hidden talent of yours?
i don't knowwww....i'll let my mutuals answer that one for me if they noticed anything </3
14. what’s something you wish to have at this moment?
time home alone. disclosure. and a yummy snack.
tagging @wolfsnape @linanord @lokh @mihai-florescu @teabox @sidh-rah @future-circuit @magical-alien @reloaderror @wolfkilling @hammyletto @prizefigures @bakedbananners @sleepcities and @bhatoora 💌
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I nEvEr GeT aSk GaMe StUfF
✨🦋🌿🎀💝💥💎💌
Geee, alright already! 🤣🤣🤣
✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)
Okay, first things first, I'm pretty satisfied with how all of my fics have been perceived so far, so I can't really complain.
That being said: Someone who cares is doing significantly less good than Hic sunt dracones, statistics-wise. It is my own emotional support fic and incredibly close to my heart, so I really am delighted about every positive comment I get about it.
🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?
Erm, everything? Can I say everything? 🤣
I'm literally a nervous wreck after posting, anxiously hitting F5 and waiting for feedback, mind in a constant loop of self-doubt.
What if my characterization is off?
What if the premise sucks?
What if my readers don't like the direction I'm taking the story?
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!!
🌿how does creating make you feel?
So many things!!!
For one thing, it scratches the brain itch. I’ve always had to create things, as far back as I remember. When I was a kid, my parents could stick me in a corner with some paper and scissors and crayons and glue and wouldn’t hear from me for hours.
Even during the 15 years that I didn’t write, I always had to be doing something creative. Knitting, painting, drawing, photographing, you name it. It’s an urge that I need to fulfill and I get crabby if I can’t.
Seeing the end results makes me feel insanely proud and accomplished. It may not be perfect, but I made that! I sunk my teeth into it and saw it through and made this wonderful thing that I love.
🎀give yourself a compliment about your own writing
How dare you make me say nice things about myself?!
Okay … I guess my writing does something to other people that makes them want to create their own stuff. People have repeatedly told me that reading my fics kickstarted their own imagination into creating stories or art of their own. And every time that happens, I get so incredibly happy because that is like a god-tier compliment right there! That somebody found my writing so engaging that it made their brain spin off on a tangent and they created something out of it!
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
Dragons! Dragons dragons dragons dragoooooons!!!!
The feedback I am getting for this fic just won’t stop blowing my mind, seriously, and every time I think it’s done, you guys hit me in right in the feels again with your gorgeous comments and rec lists mentions and fucking FANART! I am incredibly happy and humbled and awed that people are loving it so much!
💥find your least kudos'd fic - say something wonderful about it.
That would be Someone like you, which is a little bonus story to Someone who cares. It's a purely self-indulgent little one-shot featuring married Steddie and a baby. This universe is my emotional support AU and I loved visiting the boys again. 💕
💎why is writing important to you?
Wow, where to start?
Because it's incredibly fun and allows me to completely immerse myself in the story I'm creating. Because I get to be self-indulgent and spoil myself and make the story exactly like I want it to be.
And because I have met so many amazing, creative, lovely ppl through it over the past few months, who bring me joy and make me smile every single day.
I honestly don't know how I could ever go without it for so long!
💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!
Okay, so I'm still firmly stuck on the demon!Eddie brainworm and fully planning on turning it into a chaptered fic. I'm still figuring out a lot of the specifics, but I've already got some nice twists and details planned. There'll be demon besties Eddie and Chrissy, a nice side of Buckingham, lots of smutty goodness, Dustin running a mystery YouTube channel and so much more, it will be glorious!
#steddie#steddie brainrot#steve x eddie#steve harrington x eddie munson#steddie fanfic#fanfiction#fanfiction writer#my writing#fanfic#asks and replies#hic sunt dracones#someone who cares#demon eddie munson
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Charles Rodriguez - Virtual Sketchbook
Writing and Research
1) My name is Carlito, however I prefer to go by Charles, and a little fact about myself is that I usually love to draw from time to time. My favorite things to draw usually consist of videogame and movie characters, essentially fanart of them on my spare time. However, I am willing to learn how to draw more complex stuff, such as backgrounds, shadings, and many more since I'm still pretty inexperienced.
2) I was assigned #27 - Diane Arbus 1962 Child with Toy Hand Grenade
This photo is one of the most celebrated photographs in the history of the medium
The iconic image embodies the awkward tension between childhood tomfoolery and primal violence.
Diane Arbus was mostly known for her eerie photographs of children, intimate portraits of famous figures, and urban scenes.
Arbus received two Guggenheim fellowships to support her work during the 1960s, and taught at the Parsons School of Design.
Arbus changed how the world looks at photographs and how photographs looked at the world
The photo is Gelatin Silver Print and the dimensions of the image is 15 1/2 x 15 1/16
Two techniques Arbus would usually go for in her photos was documentary and photojournalistic photography
Arbus's photos were created to represent real life subjects in their natural environments.
3) My thoughts did very much change about this picture the more I had looked into it. The first time I had looked at this image and saw the title of it, I thought it was kind of funny out of context since it was just a picture of a child with a toy grenade. However, the more I looked into it and the more I had researched about this subject, I was very interested in the artist behind this photograph. The pictures she would take were very interesting to me because it just has that distinct feeling of eeriness inside of it. Nothing is wrong with it, sure, but it's just very interesting to know the meaning behind some of the pictures of what she would take, how she would take them, and why she took them. Knowing that it was to represent real life people and subjects in their natural environments just made it all the more fascinating to learn about what Arbus had done with her career.
Art and Writing
One of the most unique and special things that I have in my room is a poster for Spiderverse. It's still one of my favorite animated movies to watch solely because of how absolutely amazing the animation is. Sony, Marvel, and everyone else behind the team absolutely spent all their time just creating a wonderful masterpiece that will never be forgotten. It's such a beautiful movie from start to finish, I always love to watch it back from time to time because of how rewatchable it is. From the story, to the animation, it's something that I truly love and hope to one day become a great artist.
Writing a Self Portrait
I am 18 years old, I will be turning 19 in July. My preferred gender to be aligned with is male. I am from Wisconsin since that's where I lived most of my life until I moved her in Florida. My ethnicity is mainly American with hispanic. What I usually like to do for fun is mainly play video games, binge watch movies and TV shows, go to the gym, and draw a lot of the time. I don't have any form of job yet, nor am I a part of any organized group. However, one aspect that I truly find unique about myself is that I love to write in cursive and I can do an impression of Donald Duck.
Art Project - Self Portrait
I decided to draw a portrait of myself since I love to have a unique art style that represents how I like to draw my characters. Mainly the eyes, hair, nose, and mouth since I like to keep them simple, but also expressive. I also usually prefer to just color in black and white since it's easier to erase and I'm not the best when it comes to actually coloring, which is something I hope I can improve on. Plus, I always just loved things in black and white.
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1, 10 and a wildcard of your choice for the questions pls and thank youuuuu!!! xox
Hey neighbor! I’m just catching up on things, so forgive my lateness. These look like some fun q’s, so I’ll give it a go. Be prepared for some long, rambly answers! 1. What are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?
Fandom: Okay, so I’ve been in fandom for a longggg ass time. I think we’re going on to 19 years soon? I have no idea where I would be without fandom because the person I was before that was unsure, lost and intimidated. Fandom has helped me cultivate so many long-lasting friendships and that was what turned me into a creator. I don’t know how people know this, but I started off as a fic writer before becoming a fan artist. I used to write weekly drabbles, long fic and I did write a BB (44k!) once upon a time. The community I joined then was super wholesome and welcoming. The writing from those days makes cringe like hell now, but I really appreciate what I learned from that time. Then a couple of years later I jumped into making art, and for a while I was writing and drawing at the same time (don’t ask me how I did that while in uni either). I actually made my first HP art pieces while still in school, and I was thinking about pursuing art for uni. I had one piece that was accepted into an art gallery for a HP convention, and that was when I also made my first Drarry piece for a fest. I have not looked back ever since. Since I recharged my batteries and I’m now writing and drawing at the same time again, it’s amazing to see how much has changed and how my styles have matured. Processes have changed, and quality is way more important than quantity. But also, seeing how all of these things have reached other people and brought them joy has been pretty awesome. Art: See above. I am 10000% sure if it wasn’t for fandom, I would not be making art right now. And I know that would be super sad, because art has been part of the reason why I’ve always gotten hired for jobs, even though it’s not the premise of any of the roles I’ve had/have. But it’s the methodology and thinking out of the box that counts. Taking risks and seeing what sticks. That’s what has made me stick out every time I meet new people and I tell them I’m an artist.
Original art (which I do make too) is fun, but fanart has always given me a liberty to play in one or multiple sandboxes and has allowed me to take things to the next level in some crazy ways. I’ve found that it’s almost like journaling or milestoning things and ideas whenever I make something for a fest/event. It’s super different from making art to be sold for online or at conventions. Since I’m part professionally-trained (traditional) and part self-trained (digital) and I’ve been making art for quite some time, I also can’t see myself not making art. That’s just how I express myself...when visuals are easier to portray than words are. Life without would be like be cutting my limbs off. Tea + Tumblr: Okay, so here’s a fun story! I got into loose leaf teas and became a tea blender because of Tumblr back in 2013. Yeahhh. Adagio Teas introduced fandom teas at the time (where you can make your own blend of teas), and since I was using Tumblr to promote my art biz when that was the thing to do, I met some other artists who were making teas and I jumped on the bandwagon. It was such a pleasure meeting some amazing tea blenders (like Cara McGee or Aun-Juli Riddle), because we all were putting so much love in making these dumb teas about characters we loved. We’d illustrate all the labels and figure out tea percentages that suited each person. There’s actually some strategy around this (feel free to ask more if you’d like :P). Sooo, yeah, I’m still making teas to this day. Selling fandom teas somehow became a big foundation that has kept my art biz going. Local cons know me as the tea person, I have regulars who come back for more, and when I do come out with something new, people get really excited about it. I’ve sort of turned tea into an experience for people. And you can probably guess it...mentioning this in job interviews has gotten me some major kudos. :D 10. Would you say you’re an emotional person? YESSSS. 1000000% This doesn’t need a long answer, but I’ve always been a sensitive person since I was a kid (my mom actually had to read books on how to deal with that), and given my answers above, I pull from emotions when it comes to creations, listening to music, and pretty much everything. 6. What’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?
Best: Ummm, I have to say, seeing people lose their shit about something you’ve had to keep quiet about is kind of fun and amazing. I’ve been participating in anon fests for a long time, and it’s always fun to see people guess who made what. I know that my style for art has changed a lot over the years, and it’s way more obvious whenever my art does get posted (since I have yet to find someone who draws so crosshatchy like I do). I’ll take that as a win though. People will either leave comments of squee, or they’ll reblog the crap out of it (something that wasn’t as easy to do back in the LJ days).
Worst: Imposter syndrome is so realllll. I know we’re our own worst critic, and sometimes, it’s difficult when I have days where I think my work sucks, or I have to ask why I’m making something. I’ve definitely learned over the years that it’s super important to enjoy not just the end result of something but also the process of making it. Because at the end of the day, we should do what makes us happy.
Thanks for the ask! ___ Previously answered: 11 and 17 Want to know more? Ask a q for questions I think would be fun to be asked!
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reader impact || first meeting
series masterlist characters: xiao, albedo genre: fluff summary: a game has been released entitled genshin impact, consisting of otherworldly abilities relying on the basic elements of nature. the game follows the story of an interdimensional traveling twin in search of their other half. along this journey, they meet different characters that live in this world. including you. notes: have i read a few genshin impact x game character reader stories and impulsively decided to make one too? maybe. you can't prove anything. i don't know if this will be a series but we'll see :D
xiao's playthrough -
xiao, named as alatus on his streaming platform, has made himself known as a gaming streamer with an awkward personality and blunt words.
he's the type of streamer who wouldn't have a set type of game and would, instead, play whatever his viewers recommended.
valorant? sure, he'll try it out.
hitman? why not?
animal crossing? it's a complete 180 from the other games, but sure.
when one of his viewers recommended genshin impact, he was quick to say yes and search for the game.
once the game finishes downloading, he quickly begins the game.
once the opening cutscene passes, he compliments the overall aesthetic of the game, pointing out the smaller details such as the footprints made by his character and the sound their clothes make when they move.
as always, his expressions are quite monotone to a point where it seems nothing draws his attention towards the game.
one of his mods, however, knows xiao well enough to where he knows which character he would like.
they convince xiao that the game is worth sticking with towards the second half of chapter 1, act 1.
he doesn't understand but he trusts his mods so he promises to continue.
it takes a few hours, especially because of the grinding, but a few streams later he's finally made it.
after fighting a one-sided argument with cloud retainer, he immediately begins his trek to the wangshu inn. and yes, trek, he enjoys walking/gliding through the world of teyvat rather than fast traveling everywhere.
he walks up the stairs to the top floor of the inn, resting his hands in his lap as the cutscene begins.
"to the blind, everything may not be as it appears..."
xiao is normally stoic during games, even ones with scenes made to fluster the player and catch them off guard.
but not this time.
once xiao's character is faced with yours, he just stops. his chat is spamming messages, asking if he's okay and if he's actually emoting for once.
he just stares at your character for a good five minutes.
and trust me, at least half of his viewers clipped that.
"... who are they?"
that was his only question after those minutes of silence. never before had he been attached to a character within the first few minutes of meeting them. his mind is racing and all he can think about is how amazing your character design is and how nice your voice is and how cool your character is and--
oh right, he's streaming right now...
anyway, the more your conversation goes on, the more he loves your character.
you're just so sassy and snappy but he loves you either way.
once you turn away with your back towards the camera, he just stares.
he stares at the intricate tattoo on your exposed arm and the mask hanging off of your belt.
and then you're gone.
his face drops so quickly and his viewers are very quick to point it out. he grimaces once paimon starts talking and he's very tempted to just speed through her dialogue.
he just wants to see you again.
once he hears from verr goldet that you've never smiled (at least around her), he immediately turns to the camera and says, "we better make them smile in this game."
once he finds out about your favorite food, he's already asking his viewers if he's able to get the recipe for it.
the next time he gets to talk to you, his face just lights up once he sees your character standing on the balcony.
however, once his characters tell you about rex lapis's death, his heart sinks when he hears how sad your voice becomes, even if your tone is still as harsh as before.
he gets all sad again when the quest ends and he has to wait to unlock the next archon quest.
he ends the game there and decides to spend the last few minutes talking to his viewers.
"i'll stream genshin again soon."
his viewers all know it's only because he met you.
albedo's playthrough -
albedo often does art streams and the occasional science-y stream.
if he does games, he mainly uses them to admire the art/mechanics of the gameplay.
genshin impact was one of those games he decided to play on his own solely because of the beautiful scenary.
(and the opportunity to draw more characters).
he's definitely the player that cares about elemental reactions above all else. pretty much every character he uses is built for elemental damage instead of physical.
most of his genshin streams are him walking around teyvat and pointing out the scenary.
he was definitely excited for the dragonspine event because that meant a better view of teyvat!
what he wasn't prepared for, however, was the reveal of a new character: you.
he isn't too into looking at the updates for genshin on his own, so he didn't find out about who you were until his stream asked about it.
he decided to react to the newest updates live since his chat seemed excited to hear his input.
once he pulled up the latest update details, he spent a few minutes talking about the new subzero mechanic.
but once he scrolled down to the characters... OH BOY
he's able to keep his composure but he definitely spends longer talking about you.
he almost gasped when he saw you were the chief alchemist of mondstadt.
combine that with the fact that you rely on elemental damage instead of physical...
your honor, he's fallen hard.
he'll put a countdown on stream to when your character and event drops, even on his non-genshin streams.
speaking of those streams, on the week just before your event, his streams will all be based around you and the information he's seen on you.
his art streams will consist of you and how he thinks your attacks will work just based on the description (he purposely avoided all pictures of your attacks for this stream).
his science-y streams would probably be based on your element.
once your event drops, that's the only thing he'll stream until it's over.
your assistant used to be his favorite character to play as but they just never clicked. it's not like he hates your assistant, it's just he didn't immediately fall in love with them.
his party definitely has your assistant in it, though.
he would have normally taken his time to look around dragonspine and admire the new scenery, but he couldn't help but speed through it until he finally gets to see you onscreen.
once the cutscene officially introduces you in front of a canvas, he's internally panicking.
you like art too?! and science?! how perfect can you be?!?!?!
he will genuinely feel bad when he scares the hilichurls because he knows that that's what you were sketching.
"who are you? why did you alarm them?"
NOW HE FEELS EVEN WORSE
even when you tell him you've finished sketching, he wants to make it up to you :((
if he were able to, he would've lured more hilichurls to let you sketch more.
some people in his chat would probably spam him to skip your dialogue because it's so wordy, but that's the exact reason why he listens to it all.
he likes listening to your character ramble on, especially because you have a soothing voice.
anytime your character does their idle animation where you give life to something, he will always let it play. even if your dialogue is finished before the animation, he would not progress until it's completed.
once your character asks for help, he would immediately agree before you finished your sentence.
man just wants to spend more time with you.
he likes staring at the tattoo on your neck whenever the camera is close to you. he just thinks it's really pretty on you.
once your other nonplayable assistant begins talking, he'll skip through the dialogue. he doesn't care if it goes more in depth into this world's alchemy, he just wants to hear it from you.
"hmm, looks like the potion's ready. i'll try a little first."
"please don't..."
he doesn't want you to try it just in case it hurts you :(
anytime he is allowed to walk freely with you around, he'd definitely put his traveler character next to you for a few minutes and just let you two stare at each other.
someone asks him why he spends a few minutes doodling on his desk when you talk.
he shows them the notebook that he had been writing notes in. it's filled with little doodles of you and some more information you give on the world of alchemy.
for future streams the involve you, he'd set up another camera to show the notes and doodles he's making about you.
sometimes he'll spend a few minutes on a single section where the camera is focused on you just to recreate the picture in the notebook.
he absolutely loves whoever planned out the camera angles because of how cute you look in every one of them.
he definitely gets a bad vibe from rosaria when she hints at the fact that you may be using alchemy against him.
he will defend you and alchemy to his grave!
that one scene where you create a flower in front of you is one he will always treasure.
he makes sure someone clipped that moment just so he can draw that, make it a print, and put it on his wall.
since most of his viewers most likely consist of artists, he will encourage them to draw you and send him fanart. he will put them all on a wall and dedicate every picture that goes there to you.
"if i one day lose control... destroy mondstadt... as well as everything around it..."
"huh?"
"will you be there to stop me?"
"wait... no."
if people were only listening to that portion, they would still be able to hear the pout on his face.
he'll end the game there but change his stream into an impromptu art stream.
he will only be drawing you in nice situations to distract himself from the fact that there is something going on with you.
"hm? what do you mean something's wrong with (name)? i have no idea what you're talking about."
poor boy's in denial...
#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin impact headcanons#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact scenarios#reader impact#genshin impact fluff#genshin impact xiao#genshin impact albedo#xiao x reader#albedo x reader#genshin xiao#genshin albedo#genshin impact xiao x reader#genshin impact albedo x reader#genshin xiao x reader#genshin albedo x reader
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Funeral Flowers: a Sesskag Oneshot
Summary: Sesshoumaru knows what Kagome's favourite flower is- because it just so happens Forget-Me-Nots have been filling his throat for months. Hanahaki Disease fic. Sesskag oneshot.
AN: for @drosselmeyerwrites, who is also a lover of the 'suffering Sesshoumaru' trope. She's been a lovely commenter and wholesome person in the fandom ^^
Warning: body horror elements. This is a Hanahaki Disease fic with a twist on the concept.
Words: 10,000
Rated M
@cookieasylum drew an amazing fanart for this fic so please check this fic out on Ao3!
Funeral Flowers
It started as a mere flutter. Sesshoumaru could feel it at the back of his throat: the beginnings of something that tickled and irritated his windpipe- not enough to cause anything serious, but just noticeable. This sensation only worsened with time.
Kagome looked at him like he'd grown a second head after hearing him stifle a certain noise clumsily behind his fingers.
"Huh," she mused, peering closely at him. "I don't think I've ever heard you cough before."
After a few weeks, he'd begun coughing. A little blemish that he could easily hide behind his hand. Sesshoumaru had wanted no one to notice such a shameful thing. An unwilling action, but required in order to clear his airways.
"Hn," peeling long fingers away from his down-turned mouth, he looked away. Kagome shifted bare legs in the glittering water, lounging on some rocks by a river while half-heartedly sunbathing in a tank top and shorts. Golden eyes slid back to the slim, pale stretch of her smooth, toned leg as she swayed it.
"Kind of a human action, isn't it? Do demons even get colds?" her concern only seemed to increase. "You're not sick, are you?"
"No," he huffed, adjusting himself beside her. They kept a respectable distance. 'Friends' was what she called them. Sesshoumaru tried and failed to tear his gaze away from the parting of her thighs as she stretched languidly. "I do not get sick," he added, "such a thing is beneath me."
Kagome slid both arms behind her head to act as a cushion, laying down. "A few years ago you'd have said sitting beside a priestess ankle-deep in a river would be 'beneath' you. Things change."
Sesshoumaru tilted his chin up to regard her haughtily and gave a dignified snort, adjusting his rolled-up hakama pants. "It is beneath me."
Kagome rose a brow, fluttering one hand carelessly in a shooing motion, "go on then. Leave if it's so offensive," she sighed, trying and failing to hide her smile.
No.
His body flared alive at the thought, unsettled. Sesshoumaru bit back another prickling cough, settling for clearing his throat. "You should be the one to leave. This one was here first."
"Wha- no! I got to the river before you!"
"I was referring to age. Bratty mikos should listen to their elders."
Kagome burst out laughing, sitting up to lightly bat his shoulder. "That makes you sound ancient! You're such a dork. No one else knows how much of an absolute dork you are, do they? It's a crying shame."
Sesshoumaru did not know what a 'dork' was, but he assumed it to be something unflattering. He should've been annoyed by it, aggravated. Kagome's playful, happy scent made this notion impossible.
Thin lips twitched at the edges, dragging his heels through the cool current. He couldn't honestly put into words why exactly he'd shown up, following her scent. Logically, he knew he should leave her alone.
They fell into an amicable silence again, one that had been born from months of time spent together. Odd snatches of coincidental meetings had flourished into something more, and they'd begun seeking one another out for company whenever he visited the village. Sometimes she even paid him a visit the Western Stronghold. Any demons who complained about it were silenced by how… determined the miko was to make friends. A force of nature. It had amused him to no end watching ancients tripping over themselves to try to avoid her bad books.
He could also deeply understand those who had taken an immense liking to her.
Kagome was warm and teasing, a rare thing not wholly unwelcome. Her stories of the future were interesting, personality vibrant but down to earth and occasionally sassy. He enjoyed her more than he should, a quiet, snarky male by nature basking in her effortless glow.
"What's your favourite flower?"
He blinked, "this is a question belonging to Rin. I do not expect such fanciful notions from you."
Kagome huffed and flicked her hand to splash some water over his knee. "I can talk about flowers if I want to. Shinto asked me what mine were, so I got to thinking. I'd like to know what yours are too- or do pretty dog demons baring flower crests not have an opinion on them?"
He sniffed, bringing down one leg to create a splash that soaked her side. Kagome let out a yelp. "The Shiragiku flower. "
"Oh you can't be serious!" She giggled. "When I asked what your favourite colour was, you said 'white' of all things. White! That's the absence of colour!"
"This one is aware. You kept rabbiting on about it," he wiped some imaginary lint off one shoulder.
"But still! And now you tell me you like flowers that are infamously used for funerals," blue eyes rolled skyward, glittering with mirth. "Why am I not surprised, Mr Killing Perfection?"
Thin lips lifted into a sneer free of malice. "Very well, Shikon miko. What is your favoured flower?"
Kagome hummed. "Forget-Me-Nots."
Letting out a noise between a huff and a chuckle, he shot her an exasperated look. "And you give me grief over mine. Did you not say that blue was your favoured colour?"
"Hey, Forget-me-Nots can be pink, white or blue! I'm not as predictable in my tastes as some people."
That was most definitely true, he thought flatly. She had moved on from her first love, a Hanyou- only to bond with a Daiyoukai, and then…
And then…
Kagome stood, stretching both arms above her head. Sesshoumaru knew what she'd say before she even said it, wincing and bringing a hand absentmindedly to the base of his throat. It throbbed. Now the ache even seemed to seep lower.
What is this pain in my chest? He wondered. What is this strange sensation?
"I should go."
Sesshoumaru slid tired attention up to her and nodded silently. He would not wish her well.
"Shinto will wonder where I am," she needlessly elaborated.
"Indeed."
Kagome glanced at him and dropped her arms. "What's wrong?"
He thought to tell her, not for the first time. But it was silenced by everything else that had come before. Their history. Their species. Her lack of discernible interest, her new flame. A heavy weight pressed down upon his chest. His shoulder ached.
"Nothing. I am fine."
Dark brows pulled together. Sesshoumaru stood and nudged her away with a single palm on her back that lingered too long. "Go. I am… merely hungry."
"Oh!" a look of relief swept over her face. Kagome laughed, "okay, I'll leave you in peace. Happy hunting!"
Sesshoumaru felt his chest ache and constrict while his expression remained a blank mask. He covertly winced after she'd jogged away to a trail within the forest that would take her back to Kaede's village. She stopped to wave, and he quickly wiped his expression clean again, rendering it neutral.
Kagome smiled gently, her face full of friendly affection. Sesshoumaru regally inclined his head, eyes burning.
Do not go.
She left him alone, hurrying away to see her new flame in complete ignorance.
Sesshoumaru coughed and massaged the base of his throat as soon as she was gone, frowning.
Feeling something stuck to the roof of his mouth with his tongue, he curiously parted his lips and reached behind a sharp tooth to pluck the soft, small thing out.
Damp from saliva, a tiny, pretty blue petal caught his attention, clutched between forefinger and thumb. Sesshoumaru stared. A sense of creeping foreboding slipped into the back of his mind at the discovery.
This did not bode well.
---
His affliction made visits to the village difficult. It was easier in the beginning when he could hide a few coughs and tickles of the throat. Steadily, however, the discomfort increased. Sesshoumaru needed to pick out petals from his mouth every day, and the number of them only grew with frequency. He had to remove the irritating little things every hour now.
"Lord Sesshoumaru has been picking at his teeth a lot lately," he heard Rin whisper to Jaken, pausing mid-brush. She had been tasked with caring for the old miko's horse. "Is it a toothache?"
"Shh! Don't comment on such a thing so loudly, girl! If Lord Sesshoumaru wants to do some teeth maintenance, then he may do so!" Jaken squawked, frowning up at her.
Sesshoumaru cut golden eyes to the sky and turned away.
"Ah, I didn't mean to insult you, Lord Sesshoumaru!"
"You're STILL drawing attention to it!" Jaken griped.
Pointed ears twitched, blocking out their animated voices and tuning into a set of quick footsteps. Sesshoumaru inhaled, wincing as his lungs protested- the scent of citrus, summer and home comforts reaching him long before Kagome appeared from around the side of a hut. She beamed. His heart ached.
"Hey," she called, trotting over.
"Hello, Kagome!" the little girl waved enthusiastically, wobbling.
Steadying Rin atop her wooden perch as she continued brushing the tall horse, Kagome flashed him a knowing look. "You look tense. Is it from being near the stables?" she teased.
Rin gasped, "does Lord Sesshoumaru not like horses?"
"It's their smell, you nitwit!"
Kagome frowned at Jaken, before searching Sesshoumaru's face for answers. Obviously his silence and demeanour was starting to worry her. Taking a breath, he tried to ignore the petals stuck in the gaps of his teeth. He could feel more building, pooling in the back of his throat like thick mucus.
"They are skittish and afraid of this one. It is better to keep distance."
Predictably, Kagome gentled- but surprised him by easing closer. She seized his hand, tugging- and he was helpless to do anything but follow. Heat touched his cheeks.
Kagome walked backwards, maintaining eye contact like the femme fatale she wasn't, shifting her soft touch to grasp the back of his hand, lacing lithe fingers through his. She then forced the Daiyoukai's palm to rest against a warm neck. The horse shifted slightly, tail flicking, yet it did not startle. With Kagome's prompting, Sesshoumaru glided the flat of his calloused palm down the length of its powerful neck, the thin layer of brown fur tickling his skin.
"Maji isn't like other horses, he's calm around demons. He has to be if Kaede is gonna ride him to fight Youkai," her voice glided through his ear canals like melted honey. Kagome hummed, "though she said because of her age that he might be mine soon. Weird, huh? It's like she's prepping me to be the village miko more and more."
"It is not 'weird,' it is expected," he uttered, thrilled at the prolonged touch. How foolish. The heat of her palm felt exquisite, hand clasped intimately around his. "You will make an acceptable village miko."
Blue eyes flitted up to him, smiling. She gave his hand a squeeze. "Thanks, but… sometimes I wonder if-"
"Ah, so this is where you escaped to."
Sesshoumaru stiffened. Kagome ripped her fingers away- tearing open a gaping hole inside him. He quickly stifled a cough, but it was larger this time, throat clogged. His shoulders shook, sweat dotting his brow.
Kagome was busy being scooped up by Shinto, a large male. He dressed well, for a human, a jagged scar running over one eye. A momento from his mercenary days, he'd called it, though he was now reformed.
Kagome laughed and swatted his shoulder, demanding to be put down. Jaken piped up, yelling about indecency. All the while, Sesshoumaru fought not to let anything show. To not let the agony out. The jealousy. The consuming desire to act upon instinct and take what he ached for.
He couldn't stand it. Couldn't stand seeing the male's burly, meaty hands drag over her hips to settle at the base of her spine. Like they belonged there. Sesshoumaru coughed again, drawing away.
Kagome caught the action, turning to him. "Sesshoumaru?"
He hated the concern swimming in her gaze. It would be so much easier to despise her.
"I have lingered too long," he said quietly, trying to mask the rawness of his voice. "This one should be going."
Kagome nodded slowly, "do you want some honey to soothe your throat? It sounds a little-"
"No," he quietly snapped, starting to walk away. Confusion immediately curdled in her scent, and he regretted the lapse in control. Now she'd worry.
Foolishness.
"Lord Sesshoumaru!" Jaken hurriedly ran after him, following his Lord from the village. "Bah, those humans get more presumptuous every day. I don't blame you for leaving in such a hurry," he muttered, keeping up his tangent long after they'd met the treeline of Inuyasha's forest.
Sesshoumaru unexpectedly stopped, slamming claws into tree bark and causing it to splinter.
Jaken yelped, jumping and dropping his staff. "Mi-mi Lord?" bulbous eyes widened upon seeing him stoop over slightly, silver hair obscuring ashen features.
Sesshoumaru's shoulders shook, dry heaving sounds reaching Jaken's hearing. The retainer gasped, watching him cough, gasp and choke. Thick trails of dewy saliva pooled onto the ground. Rasping noises shuddered out from clenched teeth. Trembling claws reached inside his mouth, feeling something at the back of his throat. Grasping it, Sesshoumaru fought not to gag, coughing while removing the thing and looking at it with stinging eyes.
A Forget-me-not flower sat innocently between forefinger and thumb.
Both demons stared. Phlegm soaked petals rested at Sesshoumaru's feet. Jaken stood gravely silent for a while.
"Mi Lord…" he said thinly. "You have fallen prey to something very old…"
"You will not breathe a word about it to anyone," Sesshoumaru coughed, eyes stinging. He straightened and wiped his mouth, collecting himself. He threw the flower aside.
"But-"
"No one, Jaken," Sesshoumaru hissed, molten golden eyes burning. "Or I'll kill you."
Jaken yelped and quickly bowed several times, promising wholeheartedly not to interfere.
"I-I understand! However, if it's not too much trouble, perhaps you could hear out a suggestion?"
Sesshoumaru sneered and started walking again, his breathing slightly hoarse and rasping now, no longer quiet. His lips pressed together, trying to silence himself. It proved painful, and he quickly breathed through his mouth again.
Jaken tentatively continued; "your affliction is something ancient. I know little about it, but I do remember that it's possible to have it removed before it claims your life."
Sesshoumaru stopped, hands curling into fists. Claws scraped palms.
"That will not do, either," came his soft response.
"W-why ever not, milord?! This matter is potentially deadly to demons!"
Sesshoumaru stared ahead unseeingly. He knew of the affliction too. Had recognised what it was immediately. If he removed the flowering bud from within his chest, wiped away all evidence from her from his body, then he'd lose the very thing that had made him catch the illness in the first place.
His feelings for Kagome Higurashi.
"My reasons are my own," Sesshoumaru coughed behind his hand. "I will not die. Do not fuss over trivial matters, Jaken."
His retainer gaped, hurrying after him. Fierce worry painted his features. The infamous and deadly Hanahaki Curse could fell even the strongest of Daiyoukai.
---
It interfered with eating.
Sesshoumaru thankfully did not need to eat too often, but hunger inevitably gnawed its way into his gut. Transformed, he raced through the forest on all fours in a smaller version of his true form. Low-hanging branches lashed at his face. Forget-me-not flowers lodged in his throat conglomerated into a thick mass. They were practically a ball stuck at the back of his mouth. Sesshoumaru managed to ignore it just enough to track the scent of a deer- only to lose it and find a green pheasant within range.
Barely a snack, but it would do.
With a gurgling snarl, Sesshoumaru sprang at some bushes. Squawking with distress, the bird took flight- only to be caught in his jaws. Bringing sharp teeth down elicited a satisfying crunch. The taste of iron filled his parched mouth. Tilting his head back, Sesshoumaru had every intention of swallowing it whole. He'd done so before. The bird was small enough compared to his form. However, this quickly became impossible.
Red eyes widened. The flowers acted as a barrier, preventing food from travelling down his throat.
Spitting out the bird, Sesshoumaru tore into it. He tried again and again, breaking the kill into smaller pieces. He even tried drinking from the river to wash down the flowers. Nothing worked. No food could pass into his stomach.
With a low crooning noise that hissed out between his teeth, Sesshoumaru padded away from his uneaten kill with an agitated flick of his tail.
---
It affected his sleep next.
At his Stronghold in the Western lands, Sesshoumaru set aside his paperwork and retired to bed. Curling into a nest of furs, he stretched out long legs, sprawling on one side.
Only to feel a dull ache thrum from his ribs.
Wincing and setting a hand over the spot, Sesshoumaru frowned. He was unfamiliar with the sensation, however, Kagome had once whined and complained about 'pulling a muscle.' Perhaps the tight, clamping sensation echoed that pain. Deciding to roll over onto his opposite side- he abruptly burst into a coughing fit. The angle had upset his breathing, lungs protesting.
This vicious cycle continued long into the night. He tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable. Even laying still made him feel tense and pained. In the end, Sesshoumaru rose from his futon and began running.
Too tired to think, he transformed, relying on instinct to guide him. He whined softly; the ache spreading. He wheezed a little, breathing constrained despite being physically fit.
The inuyoukai sprinted to the outskirts of Kaede's village. Scenting the air, he caught a welcome fragrance on the breeze.
Mate.
Clearing the hillside with a single bound, Sesshoumaru shrank his form even further to that of a regular dog. Sniffing around the outside of a hut, fluffy ears perked. She was not home.
Where?
Following the invisible trail in the air, he padded around the village, passing by unseen by some villagers. Their lack of vigilance disgusted him. What lax security. Stopping at the Monk and Slayer's hut, he listened, hearing a soft humming from within. The sharp tang of blood, vomit, faeces and afterbirth caught his frayed attention.
The Slayer had been pregnant. From the sounds and smells of things, she had given birth and now slept while Kagome remained awake. He could pick up the faint fussing from a young babe.
Sesshoumaru stayed still, listening to the miko gently hum. Slowly, his body weakened, and the inuyoukai lay down outside the hut, resting a weary head atop large paws.
Something stirred from within, the rustle of covers. "Mn... are you alright? Want me to take over?"
"No, I'm fine," Kagome answered in a hushed tone. "He seems completely zonked out, little cutie-pie."
The Slayer paused, "your head. You said it was aching again earlier."
"Heh, Sango! You've just had another baby! Focus on yourself!" her lovely voice tinged with exasperation. "Really, everything is okay. It just hurts from time to time ever since that night with the boar youkai attack. It's no big deal."
"Prolonged headaches and amnesia does not fall under 'no big deal,' Kagome."
Laughing this off breezily, he could hear the shrug in her tone. "I just blank on a few things from the month prior to the attack. I'm sure it wasn't anything important."
Tired lids slid shut, and Sesshoumaru gained some sense of rest while imagining the woman within cradling a newborn pup instead of a gurgling infant. The two women talked some more, lulling him into a false sense of comfort even as his throat thrummed with continuous pain.
---
Breathing was a struggle.
Every inhale became a wheezing, quivering thing. Like crumpled paper that had been smoothed out and squashed too many times. Mucus constantly filled his mouth, senses clogged. His breathing ranged from laboured to a noisy, rasping thing.
He could no longer afford to visit the village. Sesshoumaru took to monitoring Rin from afar whenever he felt the need to check up on her. Needless to say, he avoided Kagome at all costs. The miko was an infamous busy body who would become a nightmare to deal with if she knew of his suffering.
Yes, that was the only reason.
However, on a random day he briefly let his guard down, the unthinkable happened.
Inuyasha found out.
If Sesshoumaru had comprised a list of all the beings he did NOT want to know about his affliction, Inuyasha would be right up there, along with his meddling mother.
Inuyasha stared, watching him with a complicated, horrified look on his gruff features. Shifting, Sesshoumaru stood from where he'd been knelt by a river.
Forget-me-nots floated downstream.
"... What the hell is wrong with you?" were the first words Inuyasha blurted out.
Sesshoumaru wiped his mouth, sneering. "I need not explain myself to you, whelp."
"Keh, if anything warrants a damn explanation, it's barfing up flowers."
He didn't need to hear anymore, turning with the intent to leave. No doubt the fool would talk nonsense, and he had no patience for such things with his current headache. His temples were pounding, throat parched.
"Why don't you just fucking tell her, you coward?"
That certainly caught his attention. Sesshoumaru halted. "What?" he croaked.
"Ya think I'm that ignorant, huh?" Inuyasha rolled his eyes, shoving both hands inside his sleeves. "I know."
"Know what, exactly," silken tones rasped. "You are but an ignorant pup. You were not raised within youkai circles, and so could not possibly understand."
"And whose fault is that?" shaking his head, Inuyasha huffed. "I dunno what crap you're yappin' on about, anyway. I'm talkin' about your secret relationship with Kagome that you had a couple of months ago."
Stiffening, Sesshoumaru felt his bones lock and throat inflame. He swallowed, wincing slightly. He flashed his teeth, "whatever you think you know, it is incorrect. A baseless assumption."
"Bullshit!"
Continuing to walk with every intention of escaping the pending conversation, he stopped dead the second Inuyasha opened his mouth; "I could smell you on her! But that all changed the second she hit her head. Did she forget you or something? You were happy to just abandon her after she stopped being useful for a good time?"
A deafening snarl upset his aching throat, ripping something inside. Blurring through the air impossibly fast, Sesshoumaru snatched up his sibling's throat and slammed him into a tree, causing the trunk to shudder.
"Silence," a blood-curdling rasp hissed out from clenched teeth like boiling steam. Crimson eyes glowed, claws itching to bury into the nuisance's windpipe.
Even while choking, Inuyasha managed to bark out a laugh, grasping a striped wrist. "You really do like her, huh? Never thought I'd see the day, bastard." White ears pulled back flat against his skull. "What's the deal? Just open your mouth and tell Kagome. Then I don't have to smell your pining ass all over the forest while you stalk her."
Burning embers were snuffed out. Sesshoumaru coughed, lifting a hand to his mouth. His shoulder thrummed, aching. "I cannot do that."
"Why not?"
"She does not remember," releasing him, the Daiyoukai stepped back. "The miko fell quite quickly for the male who rescued her that night. The fault lies with me that she sustained injury. If she is content with another, I cannot force her gaze to me."
It wasn't as though he hadn't tried. However, Kagome seemed happy with their relationship as friends. Guilt, stung pride and other such ugly emotions were all tied up with the incident.
Inuyasha blinked with disbelief, sizing him up. "When the fuck did you get so noble?" Sesshoumaru sneered, glancing away as his brother continued. "And anyway, what does that have to do with you coughing up flowers?"
Since he'd revealed more than intended as it was, Sesshoumaru felt no inclination to divulge extra information. He turned and this time; resolved not to stop walking. "Drop the subject, whelp."
"Maybe I'll tell Kagome about it."
Sesshoumaru did not falter, knowing the fool's game by now. "Do as you please," he dismissed in a wheezing, thin voice, stepping under the cool shade of weeping willow trees and leaving him behind.
---
He did not intend to revisit their old rendezvous point. Sesshoumaru had wanted to put it behind him, to let everything that had happened within the cave fade into obscurity.
The second he stepped foot within the mossy mouth of its opening, however, Kagome's lingering scent fanned over a striped cheek like a breathy exhale.
Long white lashes slid half shut. Hooded golden eyes became hazed. The memory of her salty, sweet taste wrapping around his tongue flooded his senses. Claws twitched, recalling the phantom sensation of full breasts falling into his palms as her back arched exquisitely. Her eyes had darkened into a lush, deep blue.
She'd been memorable, to say the least.
Walking further in, so that he stood fully submerged in their love-nest, Sesshoumaru basked in the illicit scents and breathy whispers he could remember caressing his hearing. It hadn't just been about sex. It never was with her.
Kagome had held his demonic hand without fear and stroked his cheek, murmuring ardently or giggling quietly. She told him things he hadn't thought he'd wanted to know before.
'You're nothing like your father' she'd said easily but with a conviction that made the ageless demon believe her. The notion should've been insulting. His sire had been unbeatable in strength, so of course he should wish to be like him.
Yet Sesshoumaru had never appreciated such compliments. He wished to be unique, bold, powerful, walking an entirely different path. Her words had been strangely welcome.
"And yet here I stand, Father," Sesshoumaru uttered to himself. In love with a mortal. Dying, because of a human woman of all things.
Just like you.
"Sesshoumaru?"
Golden eyes snapped wide open. A wave of elation, dread, guilt and longing washed over him. Every fibre of his being flared to life, muscles stiffening, heart racing. His lungs constricted.
Sesshoumaru swallowed a rasping breath, shifting to face the priestess.
Kagome crept closer, glancing around the cave curiously. "Was just in the forest to collect some things. I thought I sensed you close by. Looks like I was right. What are you doing in here?"
"Nothing," he said softly. His voice sounded fragile these days.
He could tell she was confused, radiating hurt. He hadn't visited in so long. No doubt she'd wondered why. The flowers buried within his windpipe felt heavier in her presence. He cleared his throat.
"Oh," Kagome scuffed a sandal over the dirt-covered floor. "Well... I'm glad I caught you-" she offered a tentative smile. "I've missed talking with you."
Sesshoumaru's insides screamed at him. The marks on his shoulder felt like blistering iron tongues being thrust into his flesh they wailed so loud.
Mate.
"I dunno what's kept you away," Kagome continued talking, making her way out of the cave. He followed, "but you haven't missed much. Rin is progressing nicely with her riding though. I'm not too shabby with that thin sword you gave me either, though Shinto says I need more practice."
That very sent icy needles piercing his skin. Stepping foot outside, Sesshoumaru couldn't stop the abrupt bite in his tone; "why are you here, miko?"
Kagome blinked and glanced at him over one shoulder. She then threaded her fingers behind her back, attention sliding away, voice unreadable.
"Shinto proposed to me."
Sesshoumaru stopped. A profound sense of loss rendered him breathless. He anticipated a coughing fit. Wheezing. Pain. But there was nothing, just him and Kagome standing alone in the silent woods. But she'd be beyond his reach for good soon.
He'd tried. He'd tried hard to forget, as she had. To push all the feelings and words right down from his throat into his chest. Maybe that was how the curse had started.
But he'd have kept the curse for good if it meant lingering in the 'almost' fantasy of them.
Now that illusion would shatter.
The very idea of her belonging to another felt like a wound somewhere inside him that he couldn't locate. The sensation of teeth on his shoulder thrummed, and he coughed, snuffing out the sound behind his hand.
"I didn't really know what to say," Kagome was muttering. "A part of me feels like it's too soon. I wanted to talk to you about it-"
"This one is needed elsewhere," he said in a clipped tone, turning on his heel.
He couldn't be her confidant anymore. Not about this.
"What?"
He began walking, trying to put distance between them. He should've known it wouldn't work as Kagome quickly caught up and planted herself firmly in his way, halting the demon.
"Okay, what is going on with you?" she demanded. "Is it the cough? Are you in so much pain that you can't talk to me?"
Sesshoumaru flashed his teeth in a faint sneer, throat protesting at the extended use of his vocal cords. "is it so unthinkable that for once, I may not have time for you, miko?"
"Yes," Kagome planted both hands on her hips. "Because this isn't an isolated thing. I've hardly seen you all month! And besides that, you're my friend, Sesshoumaru. Friends tell each other things. Remember how you talked about the court and how obnoxious General Kito was to deal with? Things like that. I need to talk to you about this- and clearly, you need to talk to someone about whatever's going on with you. I'm worried about you!"
His heart clenched, and Sesshoumaru bit back a hiss at the stab of pain it caused. Thin breathing rasped and rattled. He raised a hand, urging her aside via a gentle grasp on her shoulder to continue walking.
Kagome's grip was not so gentle as she latched onto his arm.
Frustration abruptly burst in his chest and Sesshoumaru snarled, whirling with the intent of spilling everything to her. Ruin their friendship. Burn everything they'd built and admit his failure to protect her-
-only to cough up a mouthful of blood onto her collarbone.
Kagome yelped in surprise, eyes wide. Touching the wet substance dazedly, horror paled her complexion. She looked up at him with palpable fear.
"S-Sesshoumaru?"
Humiliation stung white-hot and burning into his body. The visceral, blinding sensation of being exposed- of being seen- felt like too much. Too raw. As a demon unused to such things, his first instinct was to remove himself from the situation.
Sesshoumaru blurred away from her outstretched hands, putting the length of the clearing between them.
Kagome called his name again with alarm, asking him to wait, but he would not heed her call.
Taking to the skies, he flew fast and erratically, a wobbly figure. Coughing hard and feeling blood clog up his windpipe like mud, Sesshoumaru had no choice but to land not long after.
Within an overcast clearing upriver from Kagome, he steadied himself against a gnarled tree.
"Hah- hah-" he wheezed, doubling over and squeezing stinging eyes shut.
Something suddenly constricted tight around his lungs, around his very ribcage. Bones protested and ached. He gasped for breath, blood leaking from his open mouth to pool on the floor. Forget-me-nots mingled with it, petals stained red.
Jolting and snapping upright, Sesshoumaru arched his back, throwing back his head. A cry escaped him unlike any other. Loud, agonised and roaring in its ferocity tinged with pain.
Stems shot out from within his ribcage, tearing his chest asunder.
---
Her friends made noises of alarm at the sight of Kagome's bloodied clothes, but the miko ignored Sango and Miroku's questions, bypassing them in favour of finding and grabbing Jaken by the scruff of his robes.
"You're going to tell me in 10 words or less what the hell is going on with your lord," she demanded.
Jaken yelped and squinted, hanging from her hold. "Haven't the faintest idea of what you could be alluding to!" he sniffed.
Kagome snarled and bared her teeth, lifting him closer with a menacing expression and gesturing to the red substance marring her priestess robes. "This is HIS blood. He looked awful. Like- like he was dying, Jaken," her voice broke. "Please. I need to know what's happening. He won't tell me what's wrong and I'm scared."
Yellow eyes rounded wider, swallowing the imp's face. He appeared conflicted.
"Kagome!"
Releasing Jaken, Kagome shifted her attention to Inuyasha, who leapt towards her with alarm pinching his gruff features.
Dread dropped low in her stomach. That was never a good sign.
Distant snapping noises like wood being felled reached her ears. From behind the approaching Hanyou within the forest, large vines could be seen shifting and slithering over a portion of the trees.
"What is it?" Miroku gaped. "I sense a demonic aura, but it's distorted."
Kagome shuddered, feeling strange. She recognised that energy. Identified it as easy as breathing.
"Maybe a forest spirit has been disturbed?" Sango guessed, clutching her son a little more protectively.
"It ain't that," Inuyasha dropped from his jump, landing before them. He panted, white hair windswept. Of all people, his gaze landed upon the miko first. "It's Sesshoumaru."
----
Their way became blocked by a thick mass of vines crisscrossing through the forest. It created a wall, preventing any from entering.
"Lord Sesshoumaru must be further in," Miroku observed, leaning to inspect the leaves. "Beyond this 'barrier' I suppose you could call it."
"I wonder what could have happened," Kagome murmured, brows pulling together. "Sesshoumaru doesn't even have nature powers."
"Why on earth did you bring ME along for this?" a high pitched, nasally voice reached their ears. Sango and Inuyasha readily ignored it, while Kagome frowned down at the imp she held by the scruff of his robes.
"Because you're clearly hiding something, and until you come clean, I'm not letting you out of my sight."
His mouth thinned into a stubborn line, glancing away.
Kagome turned her attention back to the vines. Worry took root in her stomach. The memory of the Daiyoukai spitting up blood remained fresh in her mind, evidence of it staining her clothing and plastering it against her skin.
Handing Miroku their son, Sango went first. She swung Hiraikotsu with a seemingly effortless toss- the bone boomerang spiralling, cleaving trees in half but bouncing straight off the vine wall. It didn't so much as leave a dent.
Not wasting another moment, Inuyasha unsheathed Tetsusaiga. Everyone immediately gave him a wide berth, watching as he shook the sword out into a monstrous blade. He swung it back over one shoulder, feet planted far apart- delivering a swift blow downwards with a loud cry.
A burst of power shot out, heading straight for the vines. They made contact, and for a moment Kagome thought the consuming golden light might break through, only for it to fizzle out. The insurmountable wall remained intact.
Inuyasha tried again and again, using different techniques. None of them worked.
Nocking an arrow in her bow, Kagome took aim. Pale pink reiki split forth, coating the arrow while glowing ever more blinding until she set it free.
She held out hope as it shot through the vines, managing to burst through the dense foliage- which repaired itself almost immediately, covering up the hole.
"Nothing appears to be working," Miroku muttered, turning his friends. "Perhaps we should seek advice elsewhere first before trying to continue."
Her friend's voices faded into background noise as Kagome approached the vines. Frowning slightly, she stretched out her senses, using her aura to touch and brush against the barrier. It felt like him.
If that were the case, the wall was of Sesshoumaru's own making, whether he'd consciously chosen to hide away or not. Perhaps they were going about things the wrong way.
Thinking back to Maji and how carefully they'd run their linked hands down his neck, she raised a palm. Gradually easing closer, Kagome set it down gently onto the vines, stroking downwards.
Hearing outcries of alarm as the greenery parted, only for swirling stems to curl about her shoulders- Kagome quickly grabbed Jaken.
"It's okay, guys. Just find a way to follow me in later," she met their startled gazes. "I feel like I need to reach him quickly."
"Kagome, wait!"
Ignoring their protests, Kagome lept into the fray. She welcomed the green vines that wrapped around her, enclosing the miko and wailing kappa securely behind its wall.
---
Mercifully the winding tendrils of vines that moved as though infused with a will of their own allowed her freedom of movement. Kagome climbed through their moving, twisting stems, occasionally losing her footing and having to grasp hold of some.
"Again, I ask; WHY ARE YOU BRINGING ME ALONG WITH YOU?!" Jaken shrieked, clinging to her back and looking around fretfully.
"You know the answer to that. Tell me what you know about Sesshoumaru's situation and I'll let you go," Kagome hummed, shielding her eyes and looking up at sprawling branches above where sunlight streamed through. Maybe she could punt him over the treetops.
"I have sworn not to break my vow of silence on the matter!"
Grinding her teeth, Kagome stopped and reached over her shoulder, tearing him from her back to frown at him. "If your silence ends up hurting him, is it even worth it? Which means more to you; Sesshoumaru's trust or his life?"
Jaken clamped up, thinking about this for a moment. His eyes abruptly filled with tears, "fine! But you had best save me from his wrath once this is over."
Kagome grinned and patted him on the head, continuing to walk. "I promise."
He huffed, "Lord Sesshoumaru is suffering from a curse."
Blue eyes widened, and Kagome set Jaken over her shoulder like she would Shippo. He did not appreciate the gesture as the kit would while she minded swirling vines aside from their path and ducked through. "What kind of curse?"
"How much do you know about youkai mates, foolish mortal?"
At that, she tilted her head, noticing a blue flowering bud among the vines and gently touching it in passing. "Very little. I know they're like married couples. They, uh... make love and bite each other instead of having a wedding ceremony and stuff. That about sum it up?"
"Insolent girl!" Jaken griped, noticing the bud she touched opening up into a flower behind them. "It is far more than that! Their energies synchronise, aura's linking. However, it's quite imperative they both bite one another."
"Or else the mating is incomplete? What's so bad about that?"
"The partner that was bitten will consider them mated and suffer a one-sided attachment. This isn't so terrible if they have the bite mark healed and lose their troublesome feelings towards their mate," he continued with a self-important air. Kagome didn't mind it if it meant getting answers. "But... if they choose to linger in longing and are prevented from completing the mating, then their energies become distorted! Their youki takes on a life of its own as flowers."
"That's what these vines are," Kagome mused. She shifted, a strange, unsettled feeling churning in her gut. "You're implying someone bit Sesshoumaru? He'd never allow someone to do that if he didn't want it- let alone not reciprocate. Besides, if he could remove it, he'd have surely done so."
"I agree this situation is unprecedented! Unthinkable! Besides that, ANY partner resisting Lord Sesshoumaru's advances is unworthy of being his mate! AH-!"
Kagome jolted, feeling a weight lift from her back. Glancing over her shoulder, she gaped and strained to reach Jaken. Vines had wrapped tight around his mid-section, lifting him away.
"Hang on!" she shimmied her bow off her arm, quickly taking aim. Releasing the arrow, she watched as it hit the mark, sailing through a vine and breaking it in two. Jaken yelped, falling, only to be caught by another vine that continued dragging him back the way they'd come.
"J-just leave me!" he wailed. "Go save Lord Sesshoumaru!"
Kagome blinked, strangely touched. Nodding with conviction, she turned and hurriedly continued to make her way through the dense foliage.
---
Her breath caught the second she caught sight of the flowers.
Forget-me-nots littered the area, becoming more frequent the further in she ventured. Soon she practically waded through a sea of blue petals. They hugged trees, peppering logs, the ground beneath her feet, even climbing above to hang from branches. The vast mass of familiar flowers eventually opened out into a huge clearing packed full of them.
And there, at the centre of it all, Kagome finally saw him.
Vines had burst his chest open, putting quivering lungs on full display. To her horror, she witnessed them expanding and deflating with each struggling, wheezing breath. His ribcage had been repurposed for a vase of flowers. Vibrant blue forget-me-nots poked out between his ribs, green stems tightly wrapped around his bones, constricting.
Sesshoumaru's body lay tilted back, face turned upwards to the sky. Glassy eyes were vacant, blood caking his chin. His armour and hankimono lay shattered and torn on the ground. Around him, the stems that had spilt forth from his gut propped up his lifeless form, clearly part of the mass of greenery that had hindered her approach. Kagome covered her mouth, hand shaking. Tears pricked her eyes. Blue veins visibly spread over his flesh, causing her to wonder if the stems had buried beneath his very skin.
This was not Sesshoumaru. It couldn't be.
Choking on nothing, Kagome hurried closer with a thin noise. Reaching his motionless form, her hands hovered uselessly over his decimated chest. She didn't know where to start. How could she even help him?
"Who did this to you?" her voice wobbled. Stinging eyes misted over, running over his body. He looked like a corpse that had been picked clean by crows. His moving lungs moving were the only indication he was even alive.
"Sesshoumaru- I don't know if you can hear me," Kagome tried, reaching out and touching his cheek. It shocked her skin, icy to the touch. "But please- let go of the person who caused this," she said, locating what she assumed was the mating mark upon his shoulder. "No one is worth dying over. You could start over with your mate. Ask them out- anything!" she shuddered, looking at the flowers poking out from his ribs.
"Just don't die! This isn't like you!" Kagome snapped, tears rolling hotly down her cheeks to slide free from her chin. "Fight this! Keep living. T-there's still so much I want to talk to you about."
The tears landed upon pretty blue petals.
Leaning against him slightly, Kagome sobbed. She wondered if she could just reach out and rip the awful things free from inside his chest.
Why Forget-me-nots, anyway? Why not another flower-
The mating mark halted her hand, fingers brushing the stems. It didn't look like an animal bite, nor did it belong to a demon.
Kagome's eyes slowly widened. She had a distinct tooth at the back of her mouth.
The tooth marks looked like a perfect mould of her teeth.
"Was it...me?" she breathed, glancing up at Sesshoumaru's features dazedly. "Those blank spots in my memory. Was I... with you?"
The puzzle pieces slotted into place perfectly. Kagome stared, feeling like a fool for having not noticed. She'd just thought, assumed- he would never look at her like that.
But if the miko cast her memory back and pictured Sesshoumaru's lovely features, his honeyed gaze resting upon her face, half-lidded, lips quirked, face soft and drinking her in- maybe he had been looking at her 'like that' the whole time.
Kagome shook her head, feeling frantic. She latched onto his shoulders.
"I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry! I never meant for this to happen. Why didn't you bite me? Why didn't you TELL me, you stupid demon!" she snapped, cheeks reddening as a fresh wave of tears stung her eyes. "All that time we spent together goofing off and talking- and you were suffering in silence? You're so stupid, Sesshoumaru!"
His anguished face did not stir. Kagome mindlessly wiped away the dried blood from his chin with shaky fingers.
"There's no taking this back now," she said quietly, glancing at the bite mark. "So... I guess there's only one thing for it."
It sounded terrible, but Shinto was far from her mind as she lay a hand over her mating mark and began concentrating. When resolving to save someone, Kagome became bullheaded. Sesshoumaru was all she could see as her aura rose out from her body, seeping into his bloodstream via the bite marks.
"You need to wake up," she mumbled, using her free hand to adjust the parting of her white kosode. Sliding it off one shoulder to bare her flesh, Kagome remained heedless of the vines growing and curling around them. They seeped into her ebony hair, twining into the long locks like a lover's hands.
Kagome straddled the Daiyoukai, shuddering a little at being so close to his bare bones. She couldn't have sex with him, obviously, but she suspected it wasn't truly needed to complete the bond. Feeding her energy into his body, she bit her bottom lip. Sweat beaded on her brow.
She began to mumble and pray under her breath.
When her spiritual energy had spread through most his system, Kagome grit her teeth and hoped he'd forgive her. Laying one hand atop his rib-cage directly over his heart, she raised her voice.
"Wake up!"
A pulse of reiki shot out through her palm.
Sesshoumaru jerked beneath her. A ghastly, chocking noise escaped him. His head lolled to the side as he looked at her unseeingly, a trickle of blood welling from the corner of his pale mouth. Kagome quickly wrapped an arm around him, guiding his head to her shoulder.
"Bite down, Sesshoumaru," Kagome whispered fiercely into his ear.
Sharp canines brushed her skin, causing a shiver. Wet flecks of blood accompanied it as he coughed. Whimpering with desperation, the miko curled trembling fingers into silver hair. She pressed a kiss against his cheek.
"Please- I want this." She'd do anything to save him. Besides that, a small, buried part of her felt strangely at peace with the action and its meaning. "Bite down!"
A blood-curdling snarl vibrated out from his open chest. Fangs sank deep into her shoulder. At once, dark, dominating youki burst through her system like a shot of adrenaline. Kagome gasped, back arching. It turned her heart into a burning star. Sesshoumaru's presence filled her until she practically burst at the seams. She distantly understood why youkai had sex before biting each other, reeling from it. The orgasm probably softened the intensity. Completion was something the mind could fathom, a release, the pooling of cum inside her.
This felt overwhelming. He was everywhere. His energy burned and licked, igniting and soothing her body like burning whisky.
Kagome felt the pinpricks of fresh tears in her eyes, overcome with a hurricane of emotions she couldn't quite name. She could feel his weakness. His exhaustion. The part of him tethered to her became a lifeline between them, feeding him the energy he'd lost.
Sesshoumaru's mouth peeled back from her flesh. He panted, sinking back. Kagome caught him about the shoulders, cradling him close.
A wave of tiredness sent her sinking down against him, lashes falling shut as dizziness spun her vision.
The last thing she saw before surrendering to the lure of unconsciousness was a canopy of Forget-me-nots surrounding their weary bodies.
----
Drowsy lids slowly cracked open- wincing at the setting sun's harsh orange light peeking out from between the trees. Golden eyes averted and Sesshoumaru stirred with a dusty rumble.
Something heavy lay over his bare chest. He lifted his head.
Kagome rested against his shoulder, dark hair spilling everywhere. Sesshoumaru stared, feeling he must be dreaming. They were laying within a clearing together, which looked clear, quiet and picturesque.
Squinting, he sat up, adjusting the woman against him. Kagome sank against his side, revealing a gaping hole in his flesh, exposing his rib-cage.
Ah, that's right.
The flowers. The vines spilling forth from his chest as blood asphyxiated him, making breathing impossible.
And Kagome...
The miko had come for him. Saved him.
Sesshoumaru ghosted stiff fingers over his mouth, dragging clawed nails down to the fresh bite mark branding his shoulder. He then shifted Kagome, running an aristocratic nose to similar marks adorning her shoulder- a tongue sliding out to drag over bloodied flesh. She tasted wonderful.
Kagome groaned and wrapped her arms around him tighter, burying her face in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
Closing his eyes, Sesshoumaru held her close and revelled in the sensation. However, he soon picked up on the far off shimmer of his barrier enclosing them within their mini safe space. He could sense Inuyasha waiting outside, along with Jaken.
Deciding to lower it, Sesshoumaru rested his lips against the crown of Kagome's head before drawing himself up to stand unsteadily, lifting her into his arms.
When Inuyasha burst into the clearing, leaves scattering and clinging to his thick white hair, he brandished Tetsusaiga, only to lower it with a raised brow.
Sesshoumaru stood clad in his hakama pants, arching a regal brow in return. He approached the hanyou and passed Kagome over wordlessly, ignoring his noise of surprise at the sight of his ribcage.
"It is healing," the demon dismissed.
"Uh, alright," Inuyasha grunted, supporting Kagome. "Should I even ask what the hell happened?"
Sesshoumaru ignored him in favour of looking at the miko. His shoulder ached, and when he drew back his heel with the intention to leave- a fresh wave of discomfort elicited a wince.
Kagome stirred, blue eyes blinking open. She then drew a hand out towards him, "where are you going?"
"This one is..." he trailed off. "I must..."
"No, you don't," she murmured. Patting Inuyasha's shoulder to prompt him to set her down, Kagome flashed her friend a smile. "Thanks for coming for me, but I need to stay with this impossible guy to make sure he heals alright."
Inuyasha eyed the bite mark on her shoulder, nostrils flaring. "You sure?"
Kagome nodded firmly.
"What do ya want me to tell Shinto if he asks where ya are?"
Guilt passed over her face, and blue eyes flicked away, before finding him again. "Just say I'm visiting another village. I need to tell him the truth myself."
Relenting, Inuyasha stepped away, shooting Sesshoumaru a warning look before reluctantly leaving them be again, feeling like the wind had been thoroughly knocked out of his sails.
The Daiyoukai watched her, stunned.
"It's crazy you're even up and walking around in your condition," Kagome rubbed at her forehead, reaching out and seizing frozen fingers. "Come on, let's find a cave to take shelter in for the night."
----
The demon lord stopped and slid unrelenting attention down to her once they reached the mouth of a cave. "What made you choose this place?"
"I dunno, it wasn't far away and it felt familiar," Kagome hummed, meeting his gaze. "Have we... used it before? In the past?"
Golden eyes cracked wider. "You remember?" he asked in a quiet, brittle tone.
She shook her head, "not at all. I just figured it out. Would've been nice if you'd told me," releasing his hand, she wandered inside, finding a bed of furs awaiting them further in, cracks of sunlight streaming in through holes in the rock ceiling. Her cheeks reddened a little, imagination running wild.
"You really scared me back there," she murmured, back turned to him. "I thought you were going to die."
"That is why you completed the mating," Sesshoumaru uttered. To save him, and for no other reason.
A part of him had hoped she'd remembered, but another had immediately recognised the sacrifice she'd made. Kagome was a selfless individual in the face of danger. If Inuyasha were dying, or any of her other friends, he wondered if she'd mate them if it meant saving their lives.
With a benevolence he did not truly feel, Sesshoumaru forced himself to prioritise her comfort. "If this is not something you wish for- there are ways of severing the bond."
"Stop," she grit out, whirling to face him. Flinty blue eyes took his breath away. "Stop lying all the time. I remember valuing your company and opinion because you were always so blunt with me. You never held back your opinions."
"I am not lying, there is a way to sever it."
"But that's not what you want! Damn it- you nearly died because you couldn't open your mouth! Just be honest for once and tell me how you're feeling, Sesshoumaru. What do YOU want?"
Energy lashed at the air, kicking up a breeze that caused dark hair to fly back. Hands closed over the back of her neck, cradling her skull. Lips were shoved against hers, smothering startled breath.
"You," Sesshoumaru breathed in a brief parting, kissing her fiercely again. His mouth slanted ardently over hers, the hint of a fang brushing her lips. "Is it not obvious I cannot abide anything but having you? Foolish woman, it is for your sake I held back. Once you submit, there is no escaping me."
Kagome gaped, unable to keep up with the sheer amount of heated kisses. Her hands settled over his arms, heat igniting her cheeks. She'd never received a kiss like it before and tentatively returned it. A small gasp and accompanying noise from him only confirmed to her how much he wanted it. She could feel the tension in his frame. He was holding back even now.
When he pulled away, she panted, thumb dragging over magenta cheek stripes. "Didn't that feel so much better than burying everything?" she teased weakly. "Even if I'd rejected you, surely that would've been better than regret- than nearly dying."
Sesshoumaru's gaze slid away. He then released a long sigh, clawed hands curling in her hair. "You seemed happy with the mercenary."
"Ex-mercenary," she corrected out of habit, leaning into his touch. "And I was. I like him. But..." Kagome looked at him. Really looked, and somehow it clicked that his face was the only one she wanted to wake up to in the mornings to follow. When had things gotten to that point? Had she wanted this while lazing on the riverbank with him so long ago? Things would've been so much more simple if she'd identified it sooner. If he'd said something.
How foolish they both were.
Stepping closer, she blushed and tilting her head back in order to ghost her lips over a firm jaw. "I like you more."
Power sparked her insides at the ensuing shudder he gave. "Mating entails more than 'liking' one another, miko. Can you deal with my extended company? Being mine?"
Kagome pretended to consider this. "For how long?"
His lips quirked. "Centuries. Possibly thousands of years."
"That's a long time," her eyes danced. "I guess I'm okay with that if you work on your communication skills."
He inclined his head gravely, dipping his nose into her hair and inhaling a lungful. It felt so good to have clear airways again.
"Sesshoumaru, there is something I want to ask you about; Why didn't you bite me? And what happened during that night I lost my memories?"
"I intended to, miko," he said with dark promise. Displeasure curled his lip. "You managed to bite me during climax. I do not think you understood the ramifications of it at the time. I would have reciprocated nonetheless. Unfortunately, my senses- brilliant as they are- sensed a disturbance in the forest. A herd of boar youkai were bolting towards your precious village."
He could scowl all he wanted about it, but Kagome knew of his attachment to Rin. No doubt they'd both wasted no further time in lovemaking and quickly made for the village.
"We fought them, tried to redirect them. You asked me to save a boy that had fallen during the village's impromptu evacuation. Naturally, I did so- but it meant leaving you alone."
Kagome winced. Her hand found the back of her head, remembering waking to a sizable bump and stitches. "They got me, huh?"
"One struck you down," Sesshoumaru uttered with a weary tone. "I did not know where you were, as we had become separated in the chaos. When I eventually found you... the mercenary was nursing your wounds."
"I remember," she said gently. A stab of sympathy clenched her heart. Stroking a hand down his bicep, she sighed. "That must've been awful, to lose me so soon after almost completing the mating. I didn't realise, didn't recall our relationship. I greeted you so casually and didn't get why you were lingering around in his hut."
"The fault is not yours," Sesshoumaru rested large hands possessively on her hips.
Kagome glanced at him, squinting. "Neither is it yours," she pressed her fingers to his lips when he opened his mouth. "Nope! Not yours. I wouldn't have wanted you to prioritise guarding me that night. If you had, that boy you saved might've lost his life. Besides, I can usually take care of myself. They caught me on a bad day."
The two fell into silence. Sesshoumaru closed his eyes, resting thin lips against the crown of her head while Kagome leaned carefully against him.
"I find it weird that we've had a whole conversation while you have a massive hole in your chest. At least I can't see your whole ribcage like before. Seems like the skin and muscle are repairing," she mumbled.
"It will heal quickly," he dismissed, palms gliding over her back.
Kagome made a soft noise, basking in his warmth. "It's also weird that this feels so natural to me," she lifted her head, catching his eye. "I might not remember us. Ever. So just... promise me you won't search for my past self in me. I've been through that before."
He swept her down into the furs, covering her form with his own. "Hn, we will live in the present."
Heat flushed her cheeks as she sank into the soft, comforting furs. Her heart fluttered, stomach jumping. "Thank you."
A silver curtain of hair blocked out their surroundings as Kagome pulled him closer, both mindful of his injury. She smiled, searching his gaze and slowly delivering a sweet kiss to his lips.
Sesshoumaru let out a long sigh of relief, their foreheads meeting.
"Hey, on the bright side..." Kagome gave him a cheeky grin. "I get to experience my 'first time' with you again."
Astonishment painted his features. A simmering, darkly satisfied look soon replaced it, transforming his face into something more raw and honest. Kagome accepted his anticipation, his hunger, not dissuading him from it. She endeavoured to encourage even more displays of emotion from him.
"You don't need to hold back," she murmured, accepting his searing kiss. "Tell me everything you've wanted to say to me since losing my memory. I don't mind."
Their energies twined once more, and the miko hooked her leg over his hip to anchor him against her without any seductive intentions. She merely wanted him close, and Sesshoumaru did not argue, burying closer to her the second he healed. Skin met skin, noses brushing.
In the hush that followed, Sesshoumaru took his lips to her ear and began talking.
End
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misi's beyblade AUs masterpost
i like making AUs, i have many of them, here's a post of them from oldest to newest. (at least approximately) (the ones that got no art of them have photos from unsplash. i just enjoy setting the mood)
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Magical boy AU takao is an ordinary middle schooler who one day gets dragoon the magical spinning top from a cute little azure dragon, seiryuu, and transforms into a magical boy to protect the world from evil for some cosmic reasons that i haven't come up with yet. the rest of the characters have similar powers from their holy beasts and takao needs to gather up his team to fight the evil and. you get the drill is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 is there a fic of it? no note: i originally created this just because i like designing the outfits so i haven't planned the story much (this used to be my main focus but then 4kingdoms happened GJSDHGHSDG) i'd want to though, i'll get back to it eventually...at some point...... one of the charm points of this AU is that the holy beasts are these digimon-like animals that hang out with the characters and each have their own personalities.
Fairy tale monster AU takao and gramps live in a cabin in the middle of a forest full of monsters and takao decides one day to venture out to look for a silver-haired boy he once saw, he meets up with the other BBA characters one by one in the grim woods. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: my oldest halloween fic. the characters are all these different cute spooky creatures and it's intended to sound like a fairy tale.
One day, he determined that the time was ripe: Takao decided to leave for an adventure. For his grandfather was old, it was not at all unusual for him to lay down to bed before sundown. Once the hut had fallen in drowsy silence, Takao packed his one and only bag with what little he felt he needed, took his cap and jacket, and stepped over the doorsill. He had left the safe warmth of the hut behind.
Royal fantasyverse AU (the tale of four kingdoms) takes place in a fantasy universe with four kingdoms (east, west, south & north) created by the four holy beasts, in an era where each kingdom happens to be ruled by an exceptionally young king due to their respective circumstances. when the four meet for the first time, a snowball of events is set in motion that's going to affect all four kingdoms. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 is there a fic of it? yes 1 / 2 note: like a period drama with magic and gay and tons of worldbuilding. probably has way too many mysteries for the boys to solve because i have no self control when it comes to creating twists. this is The one AU that i have crammed every usable canon character into, i need enough people to inhabit four fucking countries
After creating the four lands, the holy beasts created people to inhabit them. Because the beasts were celestial beings and couldn't but guard people and the world they lived in from far above, they needed human vessels to lead the four nations. Thus they created four kings who would rule over other people using the four beast’s powers. The four kings were neither human nor gods, but something between – they were messengers, or icons, of the four holy beasts.
Omegaverse AU a canon divergence AU (i guess??) where genders are replaced by A/B/O and everyone being either canine or feline. max is a late bloomer canine and finds out he's the only alpha of the BBA boys thanks to a certain feline omega. is there art of it? not really but i do have dog boy max and cat boy rei art (which are a bit too cute for this kinkfest. i mean they're obviously aged up for the real thing.) 1 / 2 is there a fic of it? it's been in the works for like, five years but i always shy away from finishing it note: it's omegaverse, it's exactly what you'd expect. the smut is so filthy i've been too embarrassed to even post it. hiromi is also an alpha by the way
Coffee shop AU highschooler rei goes on a venture to hit on a local Hot University Teacher and coffee shop owner judy in a cafe owned by her, ends up receiving a bunch of flirty cups of latte from barista max working there. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: i mean, rei being into blonde MILFs is pretty much canon
Now that Rei looked at the boy more carefully, he realised his hair was just as fair and eyes just as blue as he knew Judy Mizuhara's to be. Maybe they were related? It wasn't that strange if Judy had hired a relative's kid to help out at the shop, right? He certainly looked American, but he had spoken Japanese. And then, all of a sudden, the boy turned to look back to him. Startled, Rei blinked his own golden brown eyes and shifted them back to his now empty cup. God, it was rude to stare at someone, wasn't it? He'd been too deep in thought to even notice doing it. Not that the boy had looked judgmental – he only seemed to wear a smile.
Soulmate AU max keeps having dreams with peculiar scenarios about a boy named rei. one day he borrows a book on soulmates from hiromi and finds a chapter talking about meeting your soulmate in the realm of dreams. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: i don't even care for soulmate AUs, this was my own dare to myself to find a single soulmate trope that interested in me enough to write a thing of it.
Max was walking through a crowded airport, carrying a heavy backpack with him. He had never been to this airport in his life, but somehow he knew exactly where he was, and where he was supposed to go. And he was in a hurry, and Rei had at some point emerged from the crowd, as usual, keeping up with him without bumping into any of the people that should have blocked his way. “I'm sorry, this is probably my fault,” Rei said. “I haven't even travelled in ages anymore, but these dreams just keep coming back to haunt me.”
Chess player AU rei is a young chinese chess champion participating in the world junior championships, ends up falling for the american chess prodigy max somehow in the process and is determined to get to play against him again. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: so this is one of the weirder ones i've done. it was inspired simply by me having a very vivid mental image of a scene of them playing dramatic chess together. this is probably my most underrated AU even by myself, i think the writing is pretty solid for such a short story of a topic i know practically nothing about
As a child, Rei had initially been taught to play xiàngqí, a Chinese game much more popular back in his home country; but chess with its refined, uniquely shaped pieces was love at first sight for the young Rei. He was a fast thinker and had amazing concentration skills once he set his mind on something, and he also had an outstanding memory, making it easy to memorise game patterns he once saw and then use them for his advantage. This all granted him natural talent in chess. But despite his skill, he had a bad habit of easily losing his temper and becoming indecisive once his focus wavered. Also, he was just a tad bit too sentimental. These traits often became his worst enemy in important matches, much worse than the actual opposing player. Keep your cool. Focus. Play well.
Flower shop + fake dating AU yuriy doesn't really know anything about flowers but is working part-time in a flower shop for the easy cash. he keeps getting a pair of weird customers who ask about flower language for hypothetical situations. is there art of it? not by myself and i don’t have a link to the fanart made of it unfortunately is there a fic of it? yes note: did i write this for valentine's day? i feel like i maybe did. this is my only AU (and fic in general) so far that's about a non-BBA character as the main lmao
“So, I need some advice for a particular situation,” the customer then began, idly tapping the counter with his hand. “I mean, not a real situation, of course – hypothetically speaking, if someone was just pretending to be going out with another person, but they weren't really going but it just needed to seem that way to everyone else, what kinda flowers would get the message through?” Possibly an idiot, Yuriy concluded his analysis. “So you need suitable flowers for a date,” he stated, shooting his eyes at his notes about common flower-usage.
Classical music AU (the heart that i love) max is a piano prodigy attending a classical music college that holds annual music competitions for the students. he's got some haters for being the son of a world-known pianist who's one of the teachers, but he also ends up having a budding romance with rei the mysterious chinese violinist. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 is there a fic of it? yes note: the origin of this was my "max and mao are besties" college AU. then it got mixed in with my thirst for classical instruments and max being bullied.
Max isn’t exactly a synesthet, but he has always been able to see music as pictures – as entire sceneries, as great adventures. This tendency of his emerges especially strong whenever he’s learning to play a new piece on the piano; as he moves along the melody, the scenery is also being built around him like a jigsaw puzzle, creating a complete picture piece by piece; and once he has mastered the song, he’s able to freely traverse and immerse himself in the world inside that puzzle. Some pieces have a more relaxed or soothing scenery than others, some are exciting and thrilling – even deliciously sinister in the way that a good horror film can be. Setting himself down in front of a piano is always an invitation to a world of his choice.
Bakeneko AU after moving to a small rural town in japan, max hits his head and starts seeing things, such as a weird white cat following him around. after a while, he's convinced that he's being haunted. is there art of it? yes is there a fic of it? yes note: another halloween AU, a more surreal one where max is human and rei is. well. not
Max kept walking, his eyes still on the narrow road. He hadn't noticed while deep in thought, but it really was quiet that evening. The sun had nearly set by now, leaving the sky striped with the dusk of the approaching nightfall. There was no wind to rustle the treetops, no birds chirping, nothing. Only the sound of Max's own footsteps on the pavement, and the matching sound that followed. Followed. What if someone actually was following him? A sudden, violent chill struck down Max's spine, causing his hair to stand on end. He stopped. After a short delay, the steps also stopped.
Genderbend AU a canon divergence AU where everyone's a different gender from canon (duh). starts off as an alternate version of the g-revolution world championships where the girls meet for the first time and befriend each other. rei is a professional model in addition to being a blader in the baihus, and max from the PPB is delighted to be able to battle her. she has no idea that rei has fallen for her at first sight, though. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 is there a fic of it? it's... in the works. note: i created this because i wanted to design attractive girls, what about it. absolutely partial to maxine's huge badonkadonks.
It wasn’t like Rei hadn’t already taken notice of her before, given that they were participating in the same world championship tournament, but the real turning point was the first time they stood on the opposing sides of a bey stadium. It was the day when the match-up roster signalled the match between the Chinese team and the American team, the Baihus versus the PPB All Starz; and despite both teams consisting of five players, it came down to, to Rei’s immense joy, the tag team of Rai and herself against the two most interesting US players, Rikki Anderson and Mizuhara Maxine.
Vampire & merboy AU rei is a starved vampire just about to end his own life when he meets merboy max at a forest lake. is there art of it? of max yes is there a fic of it? yes note: yet another halloween monster AU, this time they are both monsters though. this one’s a pretty grim one i have to admit
Rei succumbed into deep thought, considering his few options, when something grabbed his unsuspecting hand. Something yanked him forward in one mad splash and forced not only the rest of his arm but also his shoulders and head underwater. Half a second later Rei, so badly startled that he’d come close to slipping into insanity, found himself staring at a pair of bright blue eyes only inches away from his own face. His other hand and lower body still firmly on land, Rei pulled himself back with strength that he didn’t even know his weak body still contained. As he did, he also pulled up whatever was clutching his hand, which turned out to be another hand – a white hand with elongated, dirty fingers, so sharp at the tips that they looked like daggers.
Mafia AU max is the boss of the BBA mafia family, rei is a hitman and max's right hand man, the rest have various roles in the organisation. salima, mariam and some other girls (at least) are reporters doing investigative journalism on organised crime who get interested in covering the story of a group of russian elite detectives doing a thorough investigation of the BBA. is there art of it? of rei and max yes 1 / 2 / 3 is there a fic of it? it's in the works but it's just a gratuitous reimax smut note: this is a story i wish existed but this kind of police investigation action thing is so not my genre of expertise. that's why i'm just doing a PWP of my boys and the rest exists on conceptual level
“Did you know,” Salima said, perfectly peppy about it, “that there are secret underground auctions for stolen artwork that’s sold in the black market? Not just online auctions in the dark web but actual, physical events held somewhere in the city! Isn’t that so intriguing? Can you imagine how an event like that would look like, Max?” Max can – in fact, he doesn’t need to imagine. But he’d rather not think about it; the memories bring the familiar taste of bile in his mouth and make his gut curdle with a mixture of disgust and very particular guilt. The mere thought of it makes him set his coffee aside and bring a hand between his tightly shut eyes.
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the next thing i come up with? who knows............
#bey things#i am only moderately insane#so i'm a person who never reads her own writing#but for this post i did. i read my old oneshots#and i wasn't disgusted by them!! actually i was rather impressed with them!!!#i didn't know such a feeling existed. to read your old writing#and be like how nice! writing of my OTP just the way i want it!#genuinely i was charmed by the soulmate AU because i'd forgotten most of it#bc i was so embarrassed about it for some reason? but it was a very nice story
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How To Train Your Dragon Saga
In the beginning, I was never really interested in watching the movie and never even bothered to watch the trailer, since we thought it was one of those cliche failure movies (and Dreamworks hasn't really had a very good track record of good animated movies at the time), but after being bombarded with tons of Toothcup fanfics and fanarts and after very high recommendations by my friend Jello13 from dA, I finally got down to watching the movie. Boy, was I glad I took my friend's recommendation to watch this movie, and the subsequent sequels after that, because after 3, 4 friggin' times, I still fucking LOVE this movie!!!
Here's my findings of the saga:
Apparently this movie was based on a children's novel written by Cressida Cowell which focuses on the 2nd book in a 10-volume book franchise. There are certain deviations between the real Hiccup and Toothless and the storyline as a whole, but after reading the summary of the original story, I think I like the movie version better. In fact even the writer said so in her blog that she likes the deviation as the movie captured the core essence of her story and it was amazing to see her story to be interpreted this way.
The storyline and the pacing is very good, and the sarcastic humour and slight optimism of Hiccup despite people thinking he's anything BUT a Viking is very intriguing. I love his catchphrases like "I'm way too muscular for their tastes. They wouldn't know what to do with all...this" and "Thank you for summing that up" and his famous line "You just gestured to ALL of me!" is just some of the LOL-worthy lines the talented Jay Baruchel who voices Hiccup does.
I was totally shocked to find out that Gerard Butler plays the role of Stoick, Hiccup's old man! I have never expect him, who is known for his brawniness and action-packed persona, made famous in the movie 300, would actually play a voice-over for a cartoon character. After finding out, spotting his voice and hearing the familiarity was much, much easier.
And of course, the creme de la creme of the entire movie: TOOTHLESS!! He is just so, so, so, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo uber cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute~~~~!!!!! When I read about him in fanfics and caught glimpses of him through fanarts, I was thinking, "Hey, this dragon is quite cute." Now amplify that feeling by a gajillion times more. That's how I feel about Toothless. He started off a little vicious with his snake-like slit for eyes, trying to act strong and tough like the dragon he was, but the moment he let his guard down a little, he got these pair of big doe eyes that is just so MOE and SQUEE-worthy. And of course I finally learn how he got his namesake: with retractable teeth that he can materialize at will
My most favourite scene of the entire movie would be this scene where Toothless finally was at peace with Hiccup and allowed him to touch him. The way Toothless tried to copy his drawing, and then growled whenever Hiccup stepped on his drawing, then Hiccup moved to avoid the lines in tune with the music until finally they were so close they were allowed to touch was just so AWW-worthy. And the music score was perfect too, especially the title of that score: Forbidden Friendship. Isn't that just sweet?
The part where Hiccup and Toothless slowly develop that bond while trying to get Toothless back on his flight feet again was also very interesting as they slowly worked together and forget each other's differences to reach a common goal, while at the same time trying to learn about each other, and Hiccup using that knowledge to good use (the eel and the scratching of the neck part was really epic), making him the life of the team, much to his crush, Astrid's chagrin.
I also love the part where Hiccup tries to convince everyone during the final exam of killing a dragon that dragons are not what they think they are, and tried to pacify the Monstrous Nightmare only to be interrupted by Stoick and having Toothless coming to the rescue (damsel in distress much, Hiccup? XD) and revealed their relationship. It felt really sad and my heart just broke when Hiccup shouted Toothless for him not to kill Stoick and Toothless looked at him with his doe eyes, then Hiccup tries in vain to stop everyone from hurting Toothless, and that argument which led to his disowning, and earning back his role as a son by proving his worth and Toothless' reputation, though a cost of his leg. I was wondering where would be the scene where he looses his leg, since I read that he had a prosthetic in fanfics, but turns out it happened in the near end of the movie, and literally mirrored Toothless' missing left tail fin.
Ending is a bit cliche where he gets the girl, he is lauded as a war hero and gained the respect of everyone including his father, the dragons made peace with humans and all that, but still it was a very heartwarming cliche scene. One that leaves a smile on your face and a sigh of contentment in your heart.
Speaking of Astrid, not really sure it's because of that yaoi in me, but I never really saw Astrid as a suitable pairing for Hiccup. I know, I'm not usually one for bestiality, but seriously, can't you just FEEL the love between Hiccup and Toothless to the point where you can consider them as lovers? Toothcup (Toothless/Hiccup) pairings are in the rage right now since the movie has been uber popularize, and you cannot deny that sort of relationship exist, right?
This one, personally I feel, is almost as par as the first one. Not better, not worse, but more or less par. Hiccup and Astrid are still together, but the Toothcup shipper in me just don't feel like they match somehow. Moreso, suddenly out of the blue, Snotlout and Fishlegs were heads over heels with Ruffnut, which I ABSOLUTELY have NO CHEMISTRY feel whatsoever! Even after I've watched their TV series that led to the second movie, I STILL don't get the vibe or the chemistry between those three people. It's like "Wait, what?" moment.
Although that moment when Ruffnut was just totally thirsty for Eret was absolutely hilarious though. I couldn't help laughing and cringing at the same time.
When the moment Hiccup's mom Valka showed up, I was not expecting her to be so... skinny. Stoick said that he made helmets out of Hiccup's mom's breast plate, and it seemed pretty big, but looking at her, she didn't look like someone who was close to being a big bosom woman, but what is continuity anyways? LOL Though Hiccup definitely has inherited her knack for dragons. Guess it's in the blood after all.
I teared up a little when Stoick died, and I felt so bad that their bromance was threatened by this, but thankfully Hiccup still loves Toothless and is willing to forgive him and try to bring him back to his side. Goes to show how deep their bond is, and Toothless ended up becoming the Alpha Dragon was one of the most epic moments in the whole movie.
It also kinda interesting that Hiccup has somehow became pretty hot in this movie. Was pretty surprised at how he transformed from the awkward tiny little runt of a boy to a strapping man LOL
Plot feels similar to the 2nd one, but the ending was so so SO bittersweet. A fitting ending, but sweet yet painful for me to watch.
My heart broke at the scene wen Hiccup was complaining about Toothless being in love n said "Am I not enough?" and I was like internally screaming "YES! U ARE ENOUGH!! U TWO ARE ENOUGH!! FUCK THAT LIGHT FURY!!"
Throughout the courtship scene btwn Toothless and the Light Fury i was like internally screaming "NO, SHE'S A TRAP! SHE'S A FUCKING TRAP! HICCUP, WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?! I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!!"
I cried like a fucking baby, especially at the end of the movie. It was like I knew it was happening, that they were gonna break up, but I was in denial, then when Toothless hugged Hiccup goodbye, I lost it, waterworks all over. In fact, waterworks all the way to the end at their final reunion ugly-cried like a fucking baby.
It did ended perfectly; perfectly bittersweet and perfectly heartbreaking and I was like "This is it. It's official. It's over. My Toothcup ship has fucking sank!!"
Fuck you, DreamWorks, you have killed my bromance!! Gahh!! I hate and love this movie at the same time!
Overall rating:
HTTYD: 9/10
HTTYD2: 7.5/10
HTTYD: 9/10
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ZFAW Fan Content Creator Interviews: HayleyNFoster
Hey everyone! We hope you’re all excited for ZFAW, and to honor (ha!) ZFAW’s commitment to supporting and celebrating fan content creators in the Zutara fandom, we’re going to be rolling out a series of interviews with well-known and widely-beloved content creators over the next few weeks. We’ve got artists and fanfiction authors, some names you recognize as well as a few phenomenal up-and-coming talents, and we can’t wait for you to meet them all!
For the second interview in this cycle, we have our best propaganda creator and this fandom’s hottest new artist/undisputed queen of the animatic, @hayleynfoster!
1. Tell us about how you came to ship Zutara. What does this ship mean to you?
When I was around 14 or 15 and caught Avatar: The Last Airbender on television, I was drawn in by the art style, the humor, and the wonderful characters. I caught the episodes out of order, and the first one I saw and wasn’t prepared to be sucked in by was The Waterbending Scroll. It intrigued me at that age, and the line “I’ll save you from the pirates” combined with the tension between Katara and Zuko in that whole scene was electrifying. I remember my teenage self thinking these two have so much chemistry! And when I saw a commercial on Nickelodeon that featured fanart submitted by fellow Avatar fans, I realized that I could do that to! So I set about making Zutara fanart for myself. I stumbled onto Youtube, practically in its infancy, and discovered that people set clips of Zuko and Katara set to music (And this was still in season 1 days… so people who made these amvs were the real mvps because they were able to make compelling narratives in their amvs with like practically nothing to work with!). The AMVs really spurred my interest in this couple, I remember distinctly one Zutara AMV using the Dido song White Flag utterly capturing my imagination. I found fandom shortly after, getting into deviantart and forums. But the ship really began to mean something to me when, as I was working on my drawings in the computer lab at school, a buoyant presence hovered over my shoulder noticing my Zutara art on the computer screen. The girl was someone I had never really talked to and had only seen from afar but she immediately started excitedly saying she shipped Zuko and Katara too! In this simple shared obsession, I made one of the best friends I’ve ever had and we’re still friends to this day. We would theorize and fangirl over Avatar like it was nobody’s business; we poured over bootleg San Diego Comic Con footage that showed spoilers for season 2 before it aired; we lost our freaking minds when we finally saw The Crossroads of Destiny. We had watch parties every week as Season 3 of A:TLA aired, and comforted each other when the show ended as it did (much ranting was shared). Those are some of my happiest memories from high school… all because this one pairing from this wonderful show. Even though Zutara didn’t happen, we still chat every now and then about it. Zutara will probably be a lifelong obsession, always bubbling under the surface. And without it, I would have never realized that animation was a viable career path. It really did inspire everything including the work I’m doing to this day in the animation industry. I owe a lot to this ship and to Avatar: the Last Airbender.
2. What inspires you to create zutara fanworks?
The resurgence of Avatar: The Last Airbender this year really helped sort of spark that dormant love I had for Zutara. The show’s ending still disappointed me on the rewatch, but Zuko and Katara’s relationship arc was as captivating as ever, so I turned to some fanfiction and looking at people’s pretty Zutara art and AMVs to just revel in fanon instead of getting to hung up on the actual ending of the show. But then I realized, with quarantine and my work load being pretty light, I had time to actually make all new Zutara art for myself, art I was never fully capable of making as a kid, but now could do with my 7 years of industry experience and just… life experience. And I was inspired to do some corrective animatics to satisfy my own desire for a different ending. I just really like exploring these two characters, doing different and interesting things with them, and frankly I’m inspired to make cute, fluffy, romantic art simply by virtue of living in a really sad and depressing world. Things are so crazy right now, creating art about two characters I love being in love, is comforting. And it helps to have inspiring music and amazing Zutara amvs to just sort of stir up my emotions and imagery in my head to make into animatics and art.
3. Be selfish - if you could request one fanwork based on your own art/fanfic, what would it be? What would you absolutely love to see someone create?
Ohhhh… Well, It’s always nice to have people write fanfiction that puts words to my animatics. I am not that great at coming up with dialog myself, so I’ve just chosen to indulge in visuals and emotions for my boards. But when I read things like RideBoldlyRide’s take on my Reunion Animatic, it makes me pretty giddy. (They finally have voices!) :) And this is the MOST selfish thing I could request, but I’m not shy about saying how much I love well done amvs, so I will literally kill for someone to make Zutara AMVs to songs I like… Like, most of AURORA’s songs but especially Exist for Love, Sunseeker by The Naked and Famous, Promises or Take Me by Aly & AJ, Adore You by Harry Styles, Human Enough by ONR, Never Let Me Go by Florence + The Machine, and/or Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier just… I can see the AMVs so clearly to any of these songs in my head, but I don’t have the tools or skill set at my disposal to make a compelling fan video. When I was in high school, I originally thought I wanted to go into video editing simply because I loved making very crappy AMVs (they were so bad you guys), but I figured out being a storyboard artist was more in my wheelhouse. haha
4. Any words for people who are new to the fandom and/or nervous about sharing their work for the first time?
If you’re new to the Zutara fandom, just have a good time! Don’t waste too much time arguing with people over your shipping preferences. I wasted so much of my teen years having pointless shipping wars with people on DeviantArt, and I’m just so much happier nowadays because I’m just making Zutara art in my little corner of the internet, and honestly, in the politest of ways, I don’t give a shit if people don’t like my art or Zutara. haha I think that’s sort of a key thing for people thinking of posting creative works here in the fandom, just make art for yourself, satisfy your own desires for the pairing, get your creative sparks flying, and create just for the joy of creating. It’s always nice to get comments and such, but simply making the art should be what spurs you on, not the external validation. And have a good time, don’t worry too much - I say as someone who worries about EVERYTHING. But honestly, making art for A:TLA is some of the most relaxed I’ve been because I make it just for me. I’m lucky others seem to like it too!
5. What’s an idea for a fanwork that you have but haven't gotten around to making?
I have an idea for a second generation storyline with my Zutara kids that involves Kya (the eldest firebending daughter) falling in love with an airbender boy (tentatively named Gora in my headcanon who’s a bit of a rabble rouser and one of Aang’s kids he had with a Kyoshi Warrior), and then they start a socialist revolution in the Fire Nation in order to dismantle all of the hierarchical societies across the Avatar world… Together Kya and Gora Fan the Flames of revolution… ehhhhh... Get it?? Oh! Oh, and then Katara, who had put in legit liberal reforms in her time as Fire Lady listens to her daughter after resisting in the first part of the story, but then realizes she can actually play a part in the dissolution of the royalty and is also active in the revolution realizing that moderate liberal reforms are no substitute for a society free of serving royalty (which she had always been uncomfortable with but had rationalized with herself that she was doing good in her capacity as Fire Lady.) I just feel like there’s a lot of cool potential for discussing these ideas and also having some aspirational change in the Avatar world. lol For aesthetics and just happy fluffy times, I can indulge in Fire Lady and Fire Lord Zuko stuff, but really at the end of the day, I take issue with the structures in a society that have to exist for monarchies to exist. Soooo, I kind of want to do my own corrective story for that… if I ever have the time or guts. On a less ambitious note, I would love to do a Zutara sparring animatic to practice doing action, but I need a good story; I am not good at doing fights just for fighting’s sake. Those are just some things I have rattling around in my head.
6. Are you participating in ZFAW? If so want to give us a hint as to your plans?
Yes! The most I can say is I have one animatic almost finished and one that’s still being thumbnailed. The rest are probably going to be comics or emotive single pieces based on the fanfics I really like right now. :)
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33. Cruise to alberobello
Prompt used - tasting the others smile | this is Definitely not how I expected to write it or how I thought it would've turned out, but I do hope you like it or it'd be a waste | immensely inspired by call me by your name | today's post I'd like to dedicate to @littlebodybigheartttt for putting a smile on my face |
Harry recites a story to the wizard travellers in hopes to impress the boy behind the bar
Fanart taken down because of confidentiality.
Fanart credit - @upthehillart
" I've got one " harry raised his forefinger to grab the attention of the fellow mates on the table
" so a few years ago, I had just started my auror training, probably like 2 months in, I got a call from my boss saying harry I need you in my office right now, I've got a job for you. And that 18 year old me so excited to get a job much before than any of my pals, I ran to the office as soon as possible and when I reached my boss guess what he said, harry I need you to go and fetch me these specific files from so and so person. I was shook for a moment that he called me all the way just to fetch some files from other country which possibly anyone could've done for him but I agreed to go nonetheless. The intercountry apparation was banned for a time there so I flew there. I was transported to a small town on South italy, I thought typical place, typical people but when I reached there, the place was goddamn symmetrical, yes not tall and High or pretty place, symmetrical. Everything so conical and guess what I found out, in a population of 11,000 only a 100 wizards and witches " harry paused to take a sip from his champagne glass, a couple of other people joining along over the table to listen to his intriguing story.
" and then blah blah, got boring fetching those files and such so I hit a bar. A muggle bar as I believe. There I was drinking my beer like quite a gentlemen and then there comes a girl, sat down beside me without asking and take my beer and I look at her like excuse me, miss but I think you've taken my drink, but she just shrugs and drink further so I ordered another for me. And then she goes, you see that couple over sitting by the door, I can bet that they are happily married and will definitely divorce the next year. I ask her how do you know and she goes I just know and then the next thing I know a bartender goes to them and says honeymoon special. I was shook but said it's just a simple coincidence but then she tells about 5 more people and only one of them she got wrong. I kept on saying maybe it's a coincidence, or Maybe she knew but then she proved me she didn't. And then we got to talking like I had never talked to anyone. You know the kind of energy where you just hit it off with someone, she was that person, Only she was the most beautiful girl I had ever laid eyes upon, like a Sin city just walking like every normal person but she had no idea how beautiful she was, like a beautiful summer day " and harry stopped eager to see some reaction
" then what ?"
" then we talked. I thought she was all just Beauty but I had never met anyone like her. She talked of things only one could've thought of. So we were talking on the matter of love and she goes it's all complicated and then I ask her to elaborate. So she does, she says the complication in love lies only in its complexity, and then she goes like we often mistake love to be like a summer breeze that is there one day that takes you away and you enjoy it while it lasts but love, actually is like a dagger, it can pierce right through you, leave you bleeding if you get too close but if the dagger points them, you let yourself them fall over it, you stab them just like you do when it points you. So I ask her what does she think of soulmates or the marriage that lasts forever and she smiles at me and went soulmate is a consolation for a weak hearted that there exists love for you which would be devoid of your insecurities. And I frown, I said that what if it's a perfect relationship, and then she says, there can never be a perfect relationship because if it exists, then the love isn't real and I get confused " harry notices the table filling in more, the bartender giving him a small smile, happy for his victory.
" and she says, my love, love is not a summer breeze, love is like a pandora box fill with paradoxical substances. It's a cold breeze that leads you to the Amazon forest, wide and unforeseen opportunities and problems available, but as you go deeper in the forest you realise for every problem there exist a solution. It's like falling on the dagger and bleeding but you should be intoxicated with the love of the dagger, so you will never die. I was amazed, she said so much reality in those few words. Then I ask her so what about people who say love is magical ? And she goes, doesn't magic exist, but if I were I to say, they find themselves ethereal when they fell over that dagger, the dagger in there you see is poisoned just like every other, yet a few realises and few doesn't and the one who doesn't says love is magical. Then out of curiosity I ask her when the clock hit exactly 12, do you believe in love ? She smiles at me very elegantly, the one she hadn't pull off the entire night, and she says I my friend, am the said dagger "
" seems as if we're there aren't we ?" Someone Whispered across the table.
Harry looked at them, gave them a small smile impressively and begin again " I ask her one last question, do you believe in soulmate ? And she shook her head and got off the stool and kisses her beau. I was rendered speechless, and then she says so long my friend and starts exiting the bar, I felt to myself that if I didn't follow her, I'd be damned, so I followed, Just a few steps away and then call out to her, she turns around and I ask her name and she replies with, my name is what there is in one, but only who fail to love doesn't have and then she says, this is Alex by the way, my soulmate. I turn to my side thinking of what possibly her name could've been and then when I raise my head, she has gone. Not like walked away gone, she had disappeared, with her beau and I stood there yet amazed. And then the next day I go to the bar again and ask about the girl to that bartender I was talking to and he goes, sir I do not know who was with you, all know is you came alone and went home alone. I didn't linger on much, and I called this the cruise to alberobello " and harry stops suddenly finishing off the rest of his champagne. He raises his eyes to meet the boy behind the bar, smiling wickedly at him.
" wha- what happened then ? Did you ever get to know her name ? Was any of it even real?" Someone asks in morbid curiosity.
"I always assumed her name to be Alma, meaning soul, with no other meaning and to this day the cruise to alberobello remains one of my most mysterious epiphanies " Harry chuckled. Groaning everyone dropped the story, intrigued by the story themselves.
It was half past 12 when the bar started emptying out, reaching its closing time and harry made himself comfortable over the bar stool.
" quite a story tonight " the boy with freckled eyes says wiping off the glasses with a dry cloth.
" I did. Travellers always seeks stories as such. Something they've never heard before, and leave them wondering " Harry chuckled finishing off his drink and pushing off the cup towards the boy..
" i must admit, I myself am very intrigued by the story" the boy smiles at harry. Harry looks at him warily smiling, he felt proud.
" I get off in 10 minutes, walk with me ?" He asked as he started taking of his apron
" I wouldn't do anything otherwise " Harry replied and exited the front door, the open sign changing to closed by a wand less magic and harry follows to the back door, waiting for Draco like he always does.
Exactly 10 minutes later, draco exits wearing a light Denim jacket over his black shirt and pants.
" shall we ?" He asked as he pushed his hands down his pocket.
They walk home talking about Harry's story, how it seemed almost unreal, however, they both Would've been doomed fools to not admit that the night had an enigmatic aura to it.
Just as they reached Draco's door, he pushes his hands in his pockets tip toeing waiting for Draco to safely reach inside.
" well that's me then " Draco said as he turned around after opening the door.
" I'll see you later then " Harry awkwardly replied.
" okay " Draco smiled
" okay "
" okay "
Harry smiled and started tumbling back his home until he turned just in time to tell Draco one last thing.
" hey, Draco "
" yeah ?"
" you know my cruise to alberobello ?"
" yeah ? What about it ? "
Harry smiled biting his lip
" you are my cruise to alberobello "
And with that Harry vanished in thin air, letting the curiosity killing Draco's cat. Everything Harry had said, Draco used to put it down on little notes and keep it away in a box , a small gesture Remind Draco of Harry if he were to ever be gone but this left him shook. The truth about his cruise to alberobello, was that if the epiphany was even real or not, Harry didn't answer that. The mystery of the story lied within the fact how anyone could've ever remembered something from ages ago, it seemed unreal but harry was a man of many words, anything but a man who would forget. And this Draco knew because of his simple rememberance of bringing him a dairy free product when draco had told him very discreetly that he was lactose intolerant.
Draco tired to sleep it away but the restlessness buried in every nerve of him that forced him to stay awake until he couldn't bear anymore and disapparted to Harry's place.
" Draco, what are you doing here ? It's almost 2 " Harry frowned as he allowed Draco to walk into his own little Land of wonder he called home.
" you asked me on the way back if I believed your story to be real ? Here's what I think, the cruise to alberobello is infact an envisage of an interaction you assumed you had with the girl named Alma who sat next to you on the bar stool with her beau Alex, who you irrevocably found to be like dagger who would pierce you open if you fell for her but you couldn't bring yourself to even try to talk to her, so you imagined all of it. But when you met me, that girl named Alma became me, and I became your cruise you'd want to go on with but are too Afraid of admitting. Correct me if I'm wrong " Draco explained in a breath still standing in the hallway.
Harry frowns before he crossed his arms and smiled " I'm impressed "
" tell me if I'm wrong ?"
" what if you are ?"
" then you would lie because you only said what you said because you knew I'd be the only one who would understand the story "
Harry remained in shock, frowning" I'm thoroughly shook how beautifully right you are "
Draco huffs out air in relief " well harry James potter, then I am asking you to be my cruise to alberobello ? Will you be ?"
" Tomorrow night, 8 pm, Alberta palace ?"
" I'll be there " Draco replied.
" good night then Draco " Harry chuckled.
" Good night" Draco replied and was only About to disapparate when Harry interjected
" one last thing" and with that Harry kissed Draco's lip. There must've been something weird in the air because they both broke out laughing while kissing each other.
" took you this long ?" Draco smiled, his lips still pressed against Harry's and his arms wrapped around his torso.
" I was waiting for you to be impressed with at least one of my stories. I'm not just Beauty you know " Harry mumbled
" well you finally succeeded " and with that Harry softly traced Draco's lips with his own. It must've been so ethereal to be in the moment that draco couldn't stop smiling, and harry was drunk on Draco, and in Prosperity couldn't stop tasting Draco's smile, it could've been kissing but it felt otherwise, Harry was happy anyway.
And next night onwards,he didn't need more stories to attract the boy behind the bar.
This might be considered as a very late submission for @drarrymicrofic " cruise "
Requests open | Master list to all prompts now available
Day 32- reasons to not love Draco malfoy by Harry potter PT.1+PT.2 | Day 34- bath with me
#drarry#harry potter#drarry incorrect quotes#draco x harry#hp fandom#harry james potter#drarry prompt#harry potter fanfiction#draco is gay#draco malfoy#drarry microfic#harry x draco#drarry fic rec#drarry ficlet#drarry fic#drarry fandom#drarry fic idea#drarry fluff#drarry forever#drarry stuff#drarry squad#drarry ship#drarry ao3#drarry au#drarry drabble challenge#drarry domestic#drarry drabble#harry potter fic#harry potter fanfic rec#harry potter oneshot
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Tagged by @fordanoia (thank you!) - I did a 2020 summary of art, and now it’s time for some self-positivity!
Rules: It’s time to love yourselves! Choose your 8 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, crafts, projects, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome work!
I don’t know if I’ll do 8? But here goes.
1. Ford as King Bacchus (for JK Simmons birthday, Jan 2020) - while not the most sophisticated painting job, I still feel okay about the work I did on the clothes and the crown especially (gold is hard). It was good practice for experimenting with painting techniques in CSP.
2. Trust/Paranoia (for Forduary, Feb. 2020) - one of those instances in which the dynamic of the poses and expressions really came out the way I wanted them to. I thought this had some good drama to it.
3. Six Characters Fanart Challenge (May 2020) - actually completing this felt good! And it made me feel good to do a set of mostly non-GF characters and remind myself that I can, in fact, still draw other faces and so on. (Listen, don’t get me wrong; I have drawn the grunks So Many Times over the last few years because I wanted to, because it brings me joy! But I do worry about getting in a rut sometimes.)
4. Childhood (June 2020) - first time trying just some straight-up painting for the background here, based on photos of my childhood home on the Jersey Shore, and memories of those magical dusk hours playing on the beach. I’m usually a linework kind of person, but I think I just had a sketch for this background and built on it. It’s always still a learning curve, but it came out well enough that it makes me feel nostalgic. I look at it and can almost feel the coolness of the sand. I miss it.
5. Stan Twins’ Birthday (June 2020) - look I just thought these little tree-octopi were the cutest things. Overall I still like these two pieces; I like the mood of the landscape I did for the top piece, too.
6. Dipper & Mabel’s 21st Birthday (Aug 2020) - I really liked how the mood and lighting of this one turned out as well. (Even though I like the expressions I did for the sequel with Stan and Ford better.) This became by far the most popular piece I’ve ever done, like, it’s not even close. I think that has mostly to do with timing, but I’m also glad that happened with a piece I genuinely feel good about.
7. The Mystery Trio in: Not, In Fact, a Ghost Story (Oct 2020; also on AO3) - the thing I’m proudest of this year, by far: a comic 2 years in the making (off and on, but mostly in 2020). Thank god for CSP. (In a lot of ways it’s better that it took long enough for me to get CSP and become comfortable using it, because I think it made it better, and in some ways flat-out made it possible. I could have done it without, but it would have been SO much harder and would have taken longer.) I learned so much doing it. I still feel pretty good about it.
I’m coming in pretty late with this so it’s hard for me to know who’s done it and who hasn’t. So I’m going to tag a few people, and feel free to do it, or not; and if I miss out anyone, please know that if you want to do it I would genuinely love to see it! Even if you can’t list 8. Even if you can only list 1 thing you did in 2020 that you feel good about, that’s worth it! Be kind to yourself for whatever you managed this year.
Tagging: @gruvu, @anistarrose, @marypsue, @smudgethistle, @sightkeeper, @thelastspeecher, @rum-and-shattered-dreams, @pirably, @scribefindegil
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true colors
@renegadesnet event 10: pride
↪ [ “But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things. Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.” ]
Summary: Two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two. The biggest pride flags he could find.
AO3
Hello, friends!! I hope you’ve been having an excellent pride month and have been eating a lot rainbow cake and pissing off a lot of conservatives with the mere fact of your wonderful existence:’) As my contribution to this month and the event organized by @renegadesnet, I decided to write a fic focused on my favorite gay dads and their sons (bc I’m me, and you should have seen this coming.)
Before you read, I want to give a trigger warning: at the start of a fic I talk about a homophobic attack, which is not graphic or violent per se (it’s someone in the middle of the night taking away the flag they put outiside the house), and I do discuss about internalized homophobia during some parts of the story. If you read it and are sensitive to this kind of stuff, proceed with caution and take care of yourself <3
Also, this entry is a collaboration with my talented mother @healing-winston-pratt, who is going to be uploading some fanart of this in a near future, so keep an eye on that👀 she’s the best skjhkjds thank you for accepting to collaborate, I feel this is a great bonding activity and I hope we can do this more often✨
I need to update my tag list because a lot of the people who were included are not active as active as they were before/changed their URLs. But I’m going to tag @the-wee-woo-rita @lackadae @all-weather-is-bad @chiyuki-hiro bc you guys are the only ones who are still active users who I had on my previous tag list lol
With that said, I hope you enjoy this fic. I think that despite the angsty parts, it came out really fluffy and domestic, it was fun to write. And to all my queer silbings who are reading this: I am very proud of you.
But I see your true colors shining through.
I see your true colors, and that's why I love you.
So don't be afraid to let them show.
Your true colors,
true colors are beautiful like a rainbow
Simon couldn’t remember a time when he didn’t know he was gay.
There was a time when he didn’t know he was gay, of course. He was probably too young to even comprehend the meaning behind that word. And there was also a moment in his life when he felt embarrassed about it, and sad, and angry, and really, really scared, and probably thought that no matter how hard he tried, he was never going to be happy living the life he wanted to live.
That the pain was never going to end. That he was going to be miserable for the rest of his existence, and that maybe, there was no point in existing if he was going to stay like that until the day he died.
But everything was temporary. And pain was one of those things.
Well, except love. Everything but love was temporary. Or that was what he liked to believe.
That was the reason why, the first year after the Day of Triumph, he told Hugh they should get a rainbow flag for their house. They went to one of the first stores that opened at the mall (that had just been remodeled after twenty years of being abandoned) and bought one at a not so affordable price. Simon offered himself to install it on one of the fence pillars and had to spend thirty minutes listening to Hugh telling him that maybe he should let him do it, that the ladder Kasumi had lent them was ratty, and that Simon was going to fall.
Fortunately, Simon didn’t. He did almost fall, though, when he was about to pass out from stress because seeing Hugh getting all anxious, made Adrian cry and he started to basically beg him to come down, given that now he was convinced he was going to fall, and hearing his dad saying “Look what you’ve done to the kid, Simon” didn’t help at all to make Adrian (or Simon) feel better.
That night, there was a thunderstorm and Adrian used it as an excuse to sleep on their bed. As soon as he cried himself to sleep, two hours later, after their dads did everything in their power to calm him down, hugging him, giving him kisses, and assuring him his aunt Tamaya wasn’t going to let the storm hurt them, Simon raised his hand to high-five Hugh and tell him that they were amazing parents, just to realize he was already asleep. Simon silently judged him for sleeping so soundly while his son was having a crisis instead of sleeping.
When he woke up (at five in the morning) Adrian was looking out their window, with the Baby Indomitable blanket on his shoulders. The sky was still cloudy, but it wasn’t raining anymore.
“Darling, what are you doing?,” Simon told him. “Today’s Sunday. Let your daddy and I get some more sleep—”
“The storm took our flag,” Adrian blurred out.
Hugh was already awake too. “What?”
“You said the storm wasn’t going to hurt us,” Adrian said, turning around to see them, “but the storm took our flag.”
Simon got out of bed, looked through the window...
And, yes, the flag was completely gone.
But for some reason, Simon knew it hadn’t been the storm.
“Why would the storm do something like this?” Adrian asked.
Simon didn’t know how to answer that. Luckily, Hugh did.
“Because the storm is homophobic, son.”
Adrian laughed out loud and then asked his dads if they could have pancakes for breakfast. He had already forgotten about the storm and the flag.
They didn’t. Neither of them ever forgot about it.
While Simon and Adrian ate their pancakes, Hugh went to his office because, according to him, he needed to check something. When Adrian finished his breakfast and went back to his dads’ room to watch TV, Simon stayed in the kitchen, doing the dishes, and Hugh finally came downstairs. He was pretty quiet, and Simon thought that it probably was because he had told him to eat the burnt pancakes he didn’t dare to throw away, but after he finished them all, he said:
“I lied.”
Simon threw a glance at him. “When did you lie?”
“When I said the storm was homophobic,” Hugh answered.
“Well, of course, you lied, love. Storms don’t have strong political opinions about gay people.”
Hugh didn’t laugh. “What I mean is— that it wasn’t the storm.”
Every joke Simon’s brain could come up with disappeared at that moment. So he continued doing the dishes, and Hugh, thinking he hadn’t made himself clear, continued talking.
“It was someone else. It was a person. I saw them on—”
“I know,” Simon interrupted him. “I know. I’ve always known.”
But even if Simon knew, he still told Hugh to show him the footage because four eyes were better than two (especially considering that the owner of those first two eyes needed to wear glasses). It was all useless, though; the storm made the image all blurry, and the only thing they could see was someone taking it and running away in the middle of the night.
Simon wanted to think that it was just some dumb teen whose friends had challenged him to do it. But when it came to things like those one never really knew.
On Monday, they had promised Adrian to take him to the park that was a few blocks away so they could teach him how to fly a kite, but the thought of going out made him feel as if something bad was going to happen to them if they did, so Simon told Adrian that he and Hugh were feeling sick and that they would stay in their room to get some rest. Adrian asked them if they minded that he stayed there too because he was in the middle of watching a movie he had never seen before.
“Only if we can watch it with you,” Simon answered.
It was a weird day to be alive. They really just stayed there, watching silly cartoons with their kid and listening to him ranting about the weird proportions those characters had.
During the afternoon, Adrian told them he was hungry, so Simon went downstairs to look for something they could eat. He was thinking that maybe they should order something from that Chinese restaurant Tamaya had taken him the other day, when Hugh entered the kitchen and told him Adrian had asked him if he could bring him water.
Simon felt his hands were trembling while he looked inside his wallet for the paper where he had written the restaurant’s phone number.
“Do you want to get another flag?” Hugh asked him.
And something hurt.
Something hurt inside of him. Something started to cry, and to scream, and to flicker, trying to make him invisible to the world.
And it told him, the same way Adrian had told him he was hungry, that someone had taken him by surprise and made a deep cut on his chest.
But Simon didn’t allow it to come out.
He just said: “No.”
And Hugh answered him: “Me neither.”
He called the Chinese restaurant to order some food, while Simon went to their room with Adrian again and cuddled with him, trying to tend to the wounds of that something that was bleeding out inside of him.
Little Simon was crying, and screaming, and flickering, and needed adult Simon to take care of him.
The next day, they talked about the incident with the rest of the Council during their lunch break. It was one of those few occasions the six of them were together in the same room during their work hours. Tamaya was furious about the flag situation. She ranted for a good five minutes without anyone interrupting her about how fucking horrible people were and that she was going to find that little piece of shit and cut his hands off. Kasumi nodded in approval while drinking some horchata she had bought for herself, probably thinking about how to ask Tamaya to let her join her revolution (something she didn’t need to do, since Tamaya always included Kasumi in everything she did). Evander, on the other hand, was very quiet, something that made him feel a little bit relieved because he was not a sensitive person and Simon didn’t want him to... Evander the situation.
He didn’t say anything insensitive that day, though.
In fact, he said something… helpful, even.
“What about a flag made of light?”
Hugh rubbed his eyes and Simon knew what he was going to say before he opened his mouth.
Because he said that phrase constantly.
“Shut the fuck up, Evander.”
But Evander didn’t shut up. “Dude, think about it. No one would be able to take down a flag made of light.”
And everyone realized that, now, it was not only one of those strange occasions when the six of them got together to have lunch during their work hours; it was also one of those strange occasions when Evander had an idea that was actually good.
So after spending another hour discussing how they were going to make it work, they decided they were going to lit up the building in rainbow-colored lights.
Tamaya and Hugh were the ones in charge of almost all the operation because Evander said he had already given them the idea, so he didn’t need to do anything else (and then got mad at Hugh when he told the media he was the one who came up with it). Kasumi helped them, but was especially insistent about putting a trans pride flag somewhere in the building, and after they agreed with her, she personally hung it on the main entrance of Headquarters.
They started turning the lights on each night of June since that yeat.
Hugh and Simon still didn’t get a flag. Three nights after they told their friends about what had happened during the thunderstorm, Simon was woken up by the sound of someone crashing against the trash cans and almost jumped out of the window with his dagger on hand to slay whoever was trying to break into their house, but when he peeked out to see what was going on, he realized the “robber” was Kasumi, who had put a bunch of small pride flags on some pots they kept on their porch and started crying as soon as she realized Simon was watching her, not because she was upset the surprise she had for them had been ruined, but because now she was covered in trash.
(That week was like a sign Georgie was sending them from the afterlife to tell them they needed to install a better security system.)
Those were the only flags they kept around the house. They were small and discreet, and, most importantly, no one had taken them away. Why? Well— because they listened to Georgie’s sign and installed a better security system. Not because there weren’t any more homophobes out there who were willing to do it.
Until that moment, those flags (the little ones Kasumi had given them in a rather unconventional way and the one made of light that Evander had come up with) had been more than enough for them. But, two years after the supernova, after Tamaya notified them the gearboxes that contained the lights had gotten soaked and that she needed the money to buy more before the next day (June 1st), Simon realized they were not enough for him anymore.
Simon wanted a bigger flag.
No. He wanted two.
The biggest pride flags he could find.
***
That was the reason why, after having pancakes for breakfast (because it had rained during the night), he took the car, took the other three people living in that house with him, and after he was able to read the map, they arrived at a store that, among other things, sold flags like the ones they were looking for.
“I want one too,” Adrian told them when they were at the flag section of the store. “For my room, you know. And I want to get ones for Danna and Nova because I don’t think they have any. They would’ve told me.”
Usually, when Adrian asked for something Simon hadn’t agreed to buy him, like some candy, an action figure, or a pair of sneakers, he would turn around and ask him if he had the money to buy any of those things himself, which would anger him so much he would stop wanting that certain thing.
But that day, he felt like buying them everything they wanted. As if money grew on trees (something he always told his kids didn’t happen.)
“Of course, darling,” he answered, “get them everything you want. It’s pride month.”
“It’s May 31th,” Max said. He was inside the shopping cart Hugh had grabbed the second they entered. It was something he always did, even if they weren’t going to buy a lot of things because, according to him, it felt weird and wrong not to.
“It’s almost pride month,” he corrected himself.
“So can I get something for Nova?” Adrian asked again, just to make sure.
“You can get something for Nova,” Hugh assured him, smiling a little bit.
Adrian quickly turned around and started looking for the flag he wanted while texting Nova about something Simon couldn’t read (not like he was trying to, anyway).
After making sure Adrian stayed on the same aisle as them, they started walking around, gazing at the flags and posters available. Simon felt pretty progressive because he was able to name every single sexuality and gender they were supposed to represent. He imagined Hugh was doing the same thing, but with a lot more difficulty than him. He kept his eyes fixated on each flag longer than Simon did, as if he were trying to remember what they meant, and when he did, he pushed the cart (with Max still inside of it, playing a game on Hugh’s phone because he had forgotten his tablet at home), and the cycle began again.
But suddenly, Simon saw ones that he didn’t recognize.
After three seconds of standing in front of those little flags, someone hit him in the butt with their cart. He turned around immediately, ready to say a really threatening “Hey” to whoever had done it.
Hugh was the only other person who was there. He had been the one who had hit him with the cart.
Suddenly, Simon felt a little bit stupid for thinking someone else had done it.
The two of them maintained eye contact for a couple of seconds until Hugh started looking at his own hands grabbing the cart’s handle.
“Simon.” Before Simon could ask him what happened, he added, with a deep voice: “Move.”
Simon didn’t move. Instead, he hit the cart with his hips, just out of spite. Hugh hit him again with it, making Simon feel the unexpected need to grab the cart with his two hands and use his own weapon against him, but Max was there and they couldn’t act like kids in front of him. So he just hit the cart with his hips again, a little bit harder than the first time, and left it there.
He realized he was just going to be wasting his time asking Hugh if he knew what that flag was supposed to represent.
“Cherub,” he called Max. “Do you recognize this flag?”
Max looked up from the screen. He usually didn’t like it when he called him “cherub” in public, but this time, he didn’t seem mad about it. “Um… no? Ask Adrian—” and continued playing.
Adrian came back with a basket full of pins, and for a second, Simon almost asked him if he really was that naive to believe he was actually going to pay for all of them. But then, he realized that it was only the basket where they kept all of the pins they sold and that Adrian had taken it to show them to them.
“Look, they have so many pins here—” he started taking random pins “—this is the aromantic flag… this is the genderfluid flag—”
“Interesting,” Hugh interrupted him, “but which flag is that one?” and pointed at the one Simon didn’t recognize.
Max took a random pin from the basket and started looking at it with curiosity. Adrian almost didn’t pay attention to it, and after a few seconds, he said: “That one’s yours.”
Simon frowned and took one. It was a handheld flag with green and blue stripes, with a white one in the middle. He touched the polyester with his fingertips as if that was going to give him the ability to communicate with it.
“But we don’t have a flag,” Hugh told Adrian. “I’ve heard of the lesbian fl—”
Adrian took a pin of the lesbian flag. “This one.”
“Yeah— but gay men don’t have one.”
“The rainbow is ours,” Simon said, without taking his eyes away from the blue and green flag he was holding. “Like, it’s for all queer people.”
Hugh directed his attention to Adrian again. “You’re messing with us.”
“I do mess with you a lot,” Adrian admitted, “but this time I’m not because if I do and you get mad, you won’t buy me all the stuff I want to get.”
“Huh.”
Simon knew Adrian and Max were a lot of things, but "dumb" wasn't one of those. And Adrian was especially intelligent when it came to convincing his parents to buy him things.
So he decided to believe him.
“Well, I like it,” he said. Then, he asked Hugh: “Do you like it?”
Hugh grabbed one and observed it for a while. “I like that it has blue on it,” he finally answered, nodding a little bit.
Simon noticed Max was spacing out while playing with the pin he had taken, so he waved the flag on his face, making him laugh and sneeze because the damn thing had a lot of invisible dust Simon didn't notice at first.
“Oh, sh—”
“You know? Maybe we should get two of these,” Hugh said, waving it too, but in his case, not on the face of one of their kids. “For our offices.”
“Matching flags, very romantic.”
Max rubbed his nose. “Why don't you get a big one for the house?”
Simon quickly started to look everywhere on that aisle, and he saw a lot of big versions of the flags he had recognized before (and some of the ones Adrian had mentioned), but there were no gay flags in sight.
“Maybe next year, I guess,” he shrugged. “I don't think they have them here yet.”
He grabbed two of the rainbow flags that were there, inside their respective plastic bags, gave them to Max, and he put them on his lap, still holding that pin. Simon made a quick mental note to remind his future self they needed to pay for that (he didn’t know if it had to with the fact that Max had been spending a lot of time with Maggie, Nova’s sister, but he had developed this weird habit of stealing the most random objects one could think of. Luckily, he limited himself to stealing things from his dads and, one time, from a store.) (Kids went through weird phases when they were Max’s age.)
(Because… it was a phase, right?)
Adrian received a text. “Danna says that she already has a flag, so I’m getting her a pin,” he said after reading it. “And Nova says she wants one too.” Then, his whole face lit up. “And I could get one too so we match.”
“Copycat,” Simon accused him, jokingly. “Your dad and I got matching flags, and now you want to get matching pins with your girlfriend.”
Hugh shook his head, disappointed. “I cannot believe you have betrayed your own family like this.”
They stayed at the store another 30 minutes to buy some other things they needed for the house, and from time to time, when he or Hugh grabbed something, they pretended they didn’t see Adrian and said: “Um, but the copycat may be listening” to a point he told them to stop, and refused to forgive them until they agreed to buy him the flag he didn’t intend to get anymore, but now was going to.
He got the last bisexual flag there was at that store.
***
The first time the four of them were together in their room was last June. Something went wrong with the A/C system of the entire house and the only room where one could stay without having a heatstroke was theirs because their A/C hadn’t broken down for some reason. Adrian and Max were sleeping on the air mattress until Simon (who hadn’t been able to sleep lately) heard that one of them woke up and asked Hugh something. He sat down on the bed, at the same time Hugh moved a little bit to allow Adrian to lay down between the two of them.
Then, in the middle of the dark, his eyes met Max’s.
He looked tiny. Young. Pretty young.
And far away.
Simon couldn’t remember who did it. He didn’t remember who talked that night. It could have been him, even. But he was sure that, at that moment, someone whispered:
“Get in here, kid.”
And Max obeyed. He crawled, raised his arms towards them, and Hugh grabbed him carefully by the collar of his shirt and placed him between him and Adrian.
It was a peaceful night. The bed was big enough for the four of them, and Simon was able to sleep and actually rest for the first time in weeks.
At least until their A/C turned off with a weird sound, and the four of them woke up at the same time, sweaty, uncomfortable, and almost at 11 AM, not because they weren’t necessarily willing to stay there longer, but because the heat was starting to get unbearable and suddenly the bed was too small for three adults and a little kid that was not that little anymore.
“This isn’t a room, this is a— a freaking oven,” Hugh said, while Adrian tried to push him out of bed to get the hell out of there and seek comfort on the air mattress he had abandoned in the middle of the night.
“And we are the... cookies,” Max giggled.
“The turkey,” Simon added.
Max turned around. His whole face was red and his hair was a little bit wet. “The lasagna.”
Simon grabbed him by the cheeks; a discreet way to check if he had a fever. “The cake.”
“The ham.”
“The—”
“Dad. Move.”
Later that day, Simon called someone to fix the A/C, and that was the end of the story.
When they arrived at the house, Adrian wanted to hang his flag as soon as possible, on one of his room’s walls, but Simon insisted that they should iron it first so it looked nicer. Hugh said that he was planning on ironing the ones they had bought for the house and offered Adrian to do the same with his, but when he insinuated that he didn’t trust him enough not to mess up his flag the same way he had messed up his favorite shirt (the one he wanted to wear to take Nova to a nice place during her birthday), Hugh reminded him that the only reason he kept doing that for him was that Adrian didn’t know how to iron yet, and decided that he was going to use that moment as a teaching opportunity. Max made the mistake of laughing at his brother when he thought no one was paying attention to him, but Adrian was and dragged Max into the teaching opportunity with him.
Simon joined too. Just because.
And suddenly, the four of them were in their room again.
With the A/C on, of course.
He didn't know if Hugh had noticed, but he had been so invested in his own explanation, that after he finished ironing the two rainbow flags, he started ironing Adrian’s without realizing it. Adrian, instead of giving up and stop pretending he was paying attention, was looking, kind of mesmerized, how he opened the bag of his blue, purple, and magenta flag, and proceeded to put it on the ironing board, now telling him that when Georgie had tried to teach him how to iron his clothes, she accidentally burnt Evander.
Simon was half-listening to the story, half-listening to the music video that Max was watching on the TV. He was sitting on a big and old ottoman they had bought a long time ago but had never found the perfect place to put it and just stayed there for years until they forgot about it. Max was in front of him, sitting on the floor and resting his back on the ottoman, while he covered his blond hair with small butterfly hair clips he had found at the store and bought just because he thought they were cute (who knows, maybe Nova wanted them for Maggie, or Kasumi could use them for herself, she loved them when she was little).
When all the hair clips were on Max's hair, he took a small mirror they kept in the bathroom (but Simon borrowed it for a minute) and gave it to him so he could see the final result.
“Look at me,” Max exclaimed, laughing. “I look so pretty.”
Simon grabbed one of the hair clips and pulled it a little. “Butterfly hair clips are a popular trend this time of the year.”
“This is definitely going to make me the most popular kid in the playground.”
“Definitely.”
He leaned forward to start taking the butterfly hair clips off Max's hair and was putting them on Max’s open hand when he noticed that he hadn’t let go of the pin they bought him at the store.
(Simon did remember to pay for the thing, but if he hadn’t done it, Max wouldn’t have said anything.)
“That was really nice of you,” Simon said.
Max looked at him, confused. “What?”
“Getting a rainbow pin—” he took his other hand and started putting the hair clips on it so none of them would get lost “—to show support.”
Max didn't say anything and Simon continued with what he was doing. After the music video finished, and another one started playing, Hugh gave Adrian his flag and told him he could go and hang it in his room, and as soon as Max heard that too, he gave Simon the hair clips and followed his brother out of the room, asking him if he could help him with it.
Simon, after realizing the bag where the hair clips came in had been destroyed by Max punching holes in it with the pin, took one of the empty pill bottles he kept in his drawers and put them there.
He closed the pill bottle and realized Hugh had been gazing at him during all this time, slightly leaning on the ironing board. “What?”
“That’s my pill bottle, Si,” he told him.
“Ah—” Simon pressed his lips “—can I have it?”
“No.” Hugh smiled at him. “Yes, you can.”
“So funny. Come here—” and patted the bed mattress.
Hugh, being extremely careful not to touch the flags he just ironed, lied on the bed and sighed.
“Do you want me to play with your hair?” Simon asked him with a soft voice.
He closed his eyes and nodded.
After a while of the two of them just being silent, he said, “Hey… I heard what you told Max, by the way.”
“The butterfly hair clips trend?”
“The pin thing.”
“What about it?”
Hugh opened his eyes, just a little bit. “Just don't tell Max I told you, all right? Because he told me he wouldn't tell anyone else until he was sure, but… I think it's important the two of us know,” he explained.
Simon was starting to feel his palms get a little bit sweaty. “Okay— but just tell me, please.”
He checked overhearing their conversation one last time, and that the kids were still at Adrian's room. “Max told me a couple of days ago that he has been thinking about… what he likes.”
He stopped playing with his hair for a second. But then, he continued.
It was his way of coping with the feeling of his stomach twisting inside of him. “What he likes?” Hugh nodded again. “Huh. And has he— does he has an idea or—”
“No, he doesn't,” Hugh answered. “He just knows that he doesn't like girls. Or that's what he told me.”
Simon raised his eyebrows and scoffed. “That sounds like a lot of things. Not liking girls.”
Hugh scoffed too. “That's what I told him. And that he can take all the time he needs to figure it out. Because he can—”
“Yes. Yes, of course, he can,” Simon assured, with determination. “Life is longer than we think it is.”
They stayed silent again. And Simon couldn’t help but feel relive inside his head the moment he called Max an ally, feeling his stomach twisting even more at every second it passed.
“I feel bad.”
“Why?”
His palms started to sweat again. “Because I called him an ally.”
“It’s all right. You didn’t know.”
“I shouldn’t have assumed anything.”
“You didn’t know,” Hugh repeated.
But Simon didn’t listen. “Si.”
Then, Hugh grabbed him carefully by the wrist, and, a little bit surprised, Simon tilted his head. Hugh usually didn't interrupt him when he was playing with his hair.
“What's wrong?” he asked.
“No, what’s wrong with you?” he deadpanned
Simon knew him well enough to know he wasn’t trying to be rude. It was just his way of asking things. Especially when he was genuinely worried and didn’t think about modulating his tone so it It fitted the situation better.
He sighed. Because he didn’t want to lie to him. “I assumed Max was straight.”
As soon as he said it, he realized how silly it had sounded phrased like that. But he also noticed his voice had broken and he had to put a hand on his mouth so he didn’t start crying.
And Hugh, instead of saying the encouraging phrase he expected him to say…
He smiled.
And for some reason, that made him want to cry even more. “Ew, why are you smiling?” he asked.
Hugh took his time to answer him. “Oh, it’s nothing. I think I'm just… happy.”
“Well, I’m not.”
Hugh smiled more. “I know, love, I know… It's just one of those things…” he tried to find the right words this time. “One of those things I didn't think we were going to go through together,” he kept saying. “Like… we're going to be together when Max finally discovers who he really is. Like we did with Adrian. And like other people did with us. And that makes me happy.”
Simon wanted to tell him to shut up and let him cry and be dramatic as much as he wanted because he considered he deserved it. But he tried to do it, the only thing that could come out of his lips was almost imperceptible “Yeah…” and then, a small tear started running down his face. Hugh quickly noticed this and wiped it away with his finger. Simon scoffed and looked away, rubbing his nose.
“Hey…” and he moved aside so Simon could lay beside him.
The space they had was a little too small but he didn’t mind because now he had an excuse to be closer to him.
And there it was again. Little Simon. Little Simon was there again with them.
Just that this time he wasn’t crying, or screaming, or even flickering. He was just… existing.
And all he wanted to do was to exist.
When Hugh held him that way, sometimes he felt as if it was the first time he did it. Which made Simon (and the sad, angry and scared part of Simon) wonder if there was a sad, angry and scared part of Hugh that also craved that comfort and validation, and if it was the one who hugged that younger version of Simon until they convinced each other that everything was fine.
That there was nothing wrong with neither of them.
Because sometimes it was as if people didn’t remind them that as many times as they needed. So the only option they had was to be there for the other, and tell him that it was okay to hug, to kiss, to touch, and to share until the one who was talking ended up convincing both of them.
Love wasn’t temporary.
And their love was as powerful as they wanted it to be.
Those younger versions of themselves wanted to stay like that forever every single time. But their adult versions knew they couldn’t do it because they had other responsibilities that they needed to attend.
Installing those two pride flags that were next to them, for example.
Their younger versions were excited to do that, but they also asked them if they could rest together a little bit longer. And neither of them had the heart to tell them no.
Hugh started to play with a lock of Simon’s hair. “We’ll be there to catch him.”
He knew he wasn’t talking about either of them. Even if, with his eyes closed, he could see little Hugh and little Simon holding each other’s hands and throwing themselves into the world, a little less sad, and angry, and scared than before, without being sure if there was going to be someone down there to catch them if everything went wrong.
“Together.”
And Simon agreed. “Together.”
***
“He’s going to fall.”
Simon rolled his eyes.
“No, he’s not,” Hugh told Max. “I’m here.”
“But what if—”
“Done,” Simon announced before Max could even finish his sentence. “Now, let’s just hope these things stay there as long as possible, because this ladder makes me anxious. I was trembling while putting the first flag.”
Max clicked his tongue. “It’s a windy day. The wind could have pushed the ladder or something.”
Now it was Hugh’s turn to roll his eyes. “Take my hand.”
Simon went down the ladder without letting go of his hand. Then, while Hugh took it and quickly went inside the garage to put it there, Adrian pricked his little brother up with his own rainbow flag pin, and in response, Max punched him in the stomach with all his might (which wasn’t that much). Adrian laughed and pretended to be hurt, but immediately asked him if he wanted him to help him with his pin.
Simon noticed that Adrian had already put his pin of the bisexual flag on his clothes, and watching him pull Max a little bit closer so he didn’t prink him again (now by accident), while Max gazed at his hands, trying to memorize his movements so he could do the same thing when he wanted to wear that pin again, made his mouth curved into a smile.
When his husband came back from the garage, he thought he was going to tell them to stop blocking the sidewalk and get in the house so they could continue with their day. But instead of doing that, he walked towards them and looked at their waving flags, flying on their mansion for the first time in years.
Adrian grabbed Max by the waist and carried him on his shoulders so he could have a better view. And he realized that there would be a day when they would throw themselves into the world completely alone, without knowing how people were going to act and aware that two of them were brave enough to take whatever blows that they were going to throw at them.
But they weren’t going to do it alone. Because Hugh, Simon, and their hurting parts weren’t going to spend a day without reminding them that they were going to be there, ready to catch them every single time they needed it.
Simon started to look for Hugh’s hand just to realize, Hugh was already looking for his too, and when they found each other, he couldn’t contain himself and stood on his tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek. Then, Hugh smiled and kissed him back, this time, on the corner of his lip.
Simon felt proud of what they were.
He was really proud.
And he hoped they were proud too.
#renegades#archenemies#supernova#renegades trilogy#hugh everhart#simon westwood#adrian everhart#max everhart#everhart-westwood family#the warden and the captain are sitting in a tree#obsi's writs#i should get an oscar for the homophobic storm joke
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Tokusatsu Au where Rukia plays the lead actress in a superhero action show. Renji plays one of the villains and they are The most popular ship in the fandom. Bonus points if Orihime plays the main villain and loves every second of it.
This was the very first prompt I got, and I fell in love. Unfortunately, aside from a brief period of being grotesquely fascinated with Power Rangers as teen, I know almost nothing about tokusatsu. I did as much research as I could and I attempted to watch an episode of Kamen Rider, but my eyes glazed over halfway through. Anyway, please forgive my inaccuracies, I wrote this with my heart.
ao3 | ff.net
🏍 ⚡ 🎬
“Uh, looks like we’re almost out of time,” the panel moderator for “High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!: A Sneak Peak at Season 5” declared, “but would you be willing to take just a few audience questions?”
Head Screenwriter Kurosaki Ichigo glanced at Leading Actress Kuchiki Rukia out of the corner of his eye, and she gave a tiny nod.
“Yeah, sure!” he replied.
There was already a young woman waiting at the microphone, practically vibrating with anxiety. She was wearing a t-shirt that had ZabiTo4Ever!! handwritten in marker on it. Rukia knew, deep down in her bones, what the question was going to be.
“Hi, yes, hello, big fan of your work! My question is: are Tomoe and Zabimaru going to kiss this season?”
“No,” Rukia started to say.
“As you probably know,” Ichigo said loudly on top of her, “the show holds close to the core plot points of Kuna-sensei’s manga, although, because of her minimalist style, we do expand a lot of the dialogue and filler scenes. She has said in several interviews that High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! is not a romance manga, so the odds of Tomoe and Zabimaru ever kissing on screen are very, very low.”
The young woman stared at Ichigo grumpily. “Does this also count Zabimaru’s secret college student identity, Satonako Takeru?”
Ichigo stared back at her. “Yes. It does.”
The next question came from a person wearing a full suit of HellKnight’s plasma armor made out of overlapping plates of cardboard. Rukia was kind of impressed by it. She wondered if he could sit down.
“Hi, Kurosaki-sensei, I am a huge fan of your work,” a voice emanated from deep within the cardboard. “I was wondering if you are influenced at all by fanworks, and if Episode 73: Pride is on the Line!: The Bake Sale Must Go On! was based in any way on the classic fanfiction, ‘Tell Me All Your Best Lies’? It’s the top story by kudos in the ZabiTo tag, which I might point out is the most popular shipping category on AO3.”
Ichigo cleared his throat gently. “I am contractually not allowed to read fanfiction, although I do enjoy fanart! There are some incredibly talented artists in the fandom, although for some reason, no one ever wants to draw pictures of Lead Screenwriters.”
“I’ll draw you, sleeping on the set like you always do,” Rukia offered, and that got a pretty big laugh. Rukia’s Tumblr of behind-the-scenes doodle comics was beloved among the fandom.
The next question was from a nonbinary person wearing a big poufy skirt and a hairstyle that would make their make-up and hair guru, Yumichika, sit up and take notice. “Hi, this is a question for Kuchiki-san! If the show is going to roughly keep pace with the manga, as it has done up until now, you should be shooting the storyline where Tomoe and Queen Bloodbuzz switch bodies later this year. I was wondering if you could comment on how you feel about filming that storyline?”
Finally! A good one! “Yes!” Rukia nodded eagerly. “I don’t usually like to speak for my fellow cast members, but Orihime and I are beyond excited about playing each other. We’ve been studying each other’s mannerisms and practicing already! Does anyone want to hear my Queen Bloodbuzz cackle?” She wagged her eyebrows as the audience cheered. “Here goes-- bwaHaHaHaHAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAAAAAAA!”
“Bonechilling,” Ichigo commented dryly as the audience erupted.
“Amazing, Kuchiki-san!” the moderator exclaimed. “I think there is time for one more, but this will be the last question!”
A tall girl in a full set of High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe motorcycle leathers stepped to the microphone. She was holding a notebook. “Hello!” she warbled. “In a 2020 interview with the Psychics and Sidekicks podcast, Abarai Renji was asked about his opinion on ZabiTo as a ship, and he replied,” she consulted her notebook, “‘Tomoe is such a cool lady and talented Battle Clairvoyant, and she always follows her heart and stays true to herself. I think that Zabimaru can’t help but be impressed with her, even though they’re enemies, and I always try to roll that into our on-screen interactions.’ I know that in the past you’ve refused to comment on the ship, but I was wondering if you had any thoughts on, y’know, his thoughts?”
“Well, he’s correct, of course, Tomoe is very cool and admirable,” Rukia replied, which drew a few laughs, although it seemed like the audience was leaning forward in anticipation of her answer. “Like I said, I don’t like to speak for other cast members. I’ll be doing a big cast panel with Abarai and Inoue and Matsumoto and Ukitake tomorrow afternoon, and I hope you all can make it! See you then!”
The moderator thanked them enthusiastically, and then Ichigo and Rukia slipped out the back guest entrance.
“Evasive as always, Kuchiki,” Ichigo teased.
“Whatever,” Rukia sniffed. “The higher ups say we’re not supposed to comment on stuff like that, and I was not commenting. By the way, how many secret fanfic accounts are you up to? Four?”
“It’s only three!” Ichigo paused. “I wrote that fanfic the guy brought up.”
“Of course you did,” Rukia sighed. “I do blame you personally for the popularity of the damn ship.”
“Me? Blame Kuna for making up two such sexy, emotionally constipated dumbasses!” Ichigo defended.
“Also, it’s not Ichigo’s fault that you and Abarai have insane chemistry.”
Rukia spun around, grinning. “Orihime!”
Rukia’s two co-stars, Inoue Orihime and Abarai Renji, the portrayers of Tomoe’s demonic archnemeses, stood in the hallway behind them.
“We sat in on your panel!” Orihime beamed. “You two were brilliant!”
“Don’t worry,” Renji added. “We were incognito.”
“Incognito” was relative, Rukia supposed, when you were at Tokyo’s biggest tokusatsu
convention.
Orihime was wearing a Zabimaru outfit so detailed that she probably could have won a prize down at the cosplay hall. She had the gravity-defying ponytail, the eyeliner, the insane widow's peak (complete with forehead tatts), the fangs, the motorcycle boots. The paper mache snake skull helmet was a little lopsided, but it was charming. She had her top zipped a little higher than canon, but that was forgivable, too.
Renji had taken the opposite tack of looking as much like a normal person-- or at least a normal Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe superfan-- as possible. Relaxed fit jeans and an oversized hoodie de-emphasized his ultra-fit physique. He was wearing a t-shirt with a very dramatic rendering of Orihime that said “Queen Bloodbuzz can step on me!” and a ball cap with the logo of Seireitei University, the fictional college Tomoe and Takeru attended.
“You think you’re in disguise,” Rukia pointed out, “but there are thousands of teen girls in this place with entire Tumblrs dedicated to your stupid face when you’re out of costume.”
Renji cocked an eyebrow at her. “You underestimate me, Rukia. I have bought… new sunglasses.” With a flourish, he whipped out a pair of the dorkiest wayfarers she’d ever seen, and flipped them onto his face. “I’ve disappeared! Who am I? Where am I?”
“You look really great, Orihime,” Ichigo said, his cheeks coloring a little bit. “Did you get Uryuu or Yumichika to help you with that costume?” In his continuing theme of doing things he wasn’t supposed to, Ichigo had finally started dating Orihime on the downlow around the time they finished up filming last season. It had done absolutely nothing for how shy he still got around her. They were, in Rukia’s opinion, cute as hell.
“Oh, no, that would be cheating!” Orihime replied, wagging a finger at him. “Well…maybe I did cheat, just a tiny bit. Renji helped me make the helmet and he held up references for me while I was painting on the tattoos.”
“Only the forehead ones,” Renji quickly added.
“He wouldn’t even offer feedback on my booby tattoos!” Orihime frowned. She leaned forward. “Rukia, how do they look?”
Ichigo turned even redder.
“Perfect, as in all you do!” Rukia replied loftily.
“What’s everyone got coming up next?” Renji asked. “I was thinking of slipping out and trying to pick up some real coffee.”
“I’m judging a villainess-themed cosplay competition,” Orihime chirped. “But I’m dying for a blueberry caramel iced latte. Renji, my henchman, pleeeeease!”
“Of course, my liege,” Renji replied in his Zabimaru voice.
It’s not like it had been a hard decision to accept the role of the motorcycle-riding, badass heroine of one of the most popular manga of the last decade, but it had turned out to be one of the best decisions of Rukia’s life. not just her career. Aside from a few of the money-obsessed executives, she liked nearly everyone in the cast and crew, but the fact that the fact that the ruthless, homicidal, literally Hell-spawned villains of the show were played by the two sweetest marshmallow people she had ever met just took the cake. Renji and Orihime had already known each other from some voicework they had done previously, and their excitement at working together on a live-action project had infected the entire cast from the start. Rukia wasn’t sure, but she strongly suspected that Renji was the one who had hyped Orihime up to ask Ichigo out.
“I have a writers’ workshop I’m moderating this afternoon, and I wanted to review the writing samples people sent in,” Ichigo said, scratching the back of his head. “I’d love to stop by that cosplay contest, though, at least for a few minutes.”
“You’ll be needing caffeine, too, then, eh?” Renji offered. “Hot, black, and in the largest cup they make, as usual?”
“Ugh, you’re the best,” Ichigo groaned. “You wanna power-up this season? Costume update? You know what? Maybe I’ll just have you defeat Tomoe once and for all, no one likes her anyway.”
“C’mon, you know I’m the world’s number one Tomoe simp, don’t do that!” Renji laughed.
Rukia rolled her eyes. “I’m free and I could use some fresh air. Besides, it’s going to take all your dumb muscles just to carry Kurosaki’s vat of coffee back here.”
“Cool!” Renji proclaimed. “We’ll be back soon!”
“Thanks, Renjiiiii!” Orihime waved.
“You need to stop off and put on a disguise?” Renji asked.
“No point in it, I always get recognized,” Rukia sighed, pulling her sunglasses out of her purse anyway.
“Here,” Renji said, plunking his hat on her head. “Maybe this will help.”
“Thanks,” Rukia replied, and then did a double take. “Whaaaaaat is on your head?”
“Shut up!” Renji laughed. He usually shaved his head when they were filming, because it made it easier to deal with the make-up and wigs, but since they were between seasons, he’d grown his hair out into a short, tousled mop of reddish-brown waves. He looked, for the lack of a better word, dreamy. “I shot a movie over the summer, and they wanted me to look softer.”
Rukia looked at him over the top of her sunglasses. “You didn’t tell me you were doing a movie!”
“Oh, it was just a little indy romcom thing. I wasn’t sure it was gonna pan out, I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”
“You were in a romcom? You’re kidding me!” They ducked out of a side door of the convention center into the bright sunshine.
“Yeah, it’s about a guy who goes to the gym to try to get ripped to impress a girl, and makes friends with me, this nice, already ripped dude who gives him lifting tips and encourages him a bunch. By the end of the movie, it turns out we have crushes on each other.”
“Oh, no, that sounds really cute, actually!”
“It was written by a woman who graduated from one of Ichigo’s writing workshops. The script was really snappy and Ichigo thought having someone like me as the gym guy would give it just a bit of campy cachet. You know what a good sense he’s got for stuff like that.”
“That was cool of you to go out on a limb a little,” Rukia replied.
Renji rubbed the back of his neck. “I’d been wanting to try something like that for a while, actually.”
Rukia blinked. “You aren’t… you aren’t thinking of leaving the show, are you?”
“Huh? No. No! No, the show means the world to me, I would never. But… it’s not gonna run forever, y’know?”
“I would have guessed you’d want to be a big action star or something!” Rukia said, throwing a few air punches. “That’s my dream!”
Renji stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. “Yeah, that’s what I thought I wanted when I first got into acting. I’d read the Tomoe manga, and I thought playing Zabimaru would be a good jumping-off point, besides just being a cool character overall.”
“Is that… not true?” Rukia frowned.
“Oh, I mean, I guess so! I didn’t really know about the fandom, though and… to be honest, I’m kinda into the idea that there are all these fans who think I’m complex and redeemable?”
Rukia regarded him out of the corner of her eye. “They just want to fix you.”
“Maybe! Ichigo made me read this one fanfic that was eight thousand words of the reader getting sick and Zabimaru making them soup? And feeding them the soup? I still haven’t decided how I feel about it.”
“How does he have time to find these things? Does he even sleep?”
“Anyway, it doesn’t hurt to be well-rounded and it was fun. I’m still mostly an action guy, but I wouldn’t mind doin’ something with a romantic subplot. A period drama or something like that. I look pretty good in hakama, you know.”
“I bet you do,” Rukia laughed. She squinted at him, but his expression was unreadable behind the shades. Renji didn’t have the classic leading man looks, not like her ridiculously famous older brother, but she could definitely see him as the best friend, the B-plot romance, with his cute, messy hair and that big doofy grin.
“By the way, I’m sorry you had to field that question about me spilling my romantic sensibilities on that podcast.”
Rukia laughed. “You didn’t even answer the question, either! These people are relentless!”
Renji stopped at a street corner and peered down the various possible directions they could go. “Which way feels like it might have a coffee shop?”
“You didn’t have one in mind before we left? I thought you knew where we were going!”
“Nah, I just like to go out and see what there is.”
“I can look up a map,” Rukia said, reaching in her bag for her phone.
“Let’s just go this way,” Renji said, stepping out into the street in the direction that had the WALK light. Rukia sighed and had to scramble to catch up with him.
“So, what do you think about it?”
“Huh?” Rukia asked. “Think about what?”
“Our ship. ZabiTo.”
“I can’t believe you just said that word out loud. And you know we’re not supposed to give our opinion on it!”
“Aw, c’mon, we’re not supposed to give public statements on our opinions. I don’t think there’s any harm in talking between ourselves. We’re in disguise, even.”
“‘Disguise’,” Rukia sniffed.
“You don’t like it, I can tell.”
“He’s a bad guy! Everyone always talks about chemistry, and that may be true, but I just don’t think that Tomoe could ever get over his acts of violence and cruelty.”
“Queen Bloodbuzz is cruel. Zabimaru is not cruel.”
“Okay, that’s fair, but still. He’s kidnapped just about all of Tomoe’s friends and or turned them into monsters at one time or another. He’s always setting Karakura Town on fire or flooding it with magic lizard goo. He ruined the sports festival.”
“Maybe the sports festival deserved to be ruined,” Renji muttered under his breath.
“Okay, you’ve got a point on that one,” Rukia admitted.
“It’s really clear though, that he’s got some agenda beyond just simping for Queen Bloodbuzz--”
“The simping for Queen Bloodbuzz is the most relatable thing about him, to be honest.”
“Granted. But, what if he’s got a good reason for everything he does, actually? What if he’s doing all of this against his own moral code as a means of infiltrating Hell itself and getting himself into a position of trust so that he can bring down the Lords of Hell from the inside?”
Rukia slipped her sunglasses down to the tip of her nose. “Does Kuna give you Zabimaru spoilers?” The reclusive creator High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe! was only barely involved with the television show, but she did privately meet with each of the cast members about once a year. Most of Rukia’s meetings consisted of Kuna giving her constructive criticism on her battle poses.
“No, mostly we practice sneering,” Renji replied. “But I gotta play the guy, so I gotta think about this, you know, what motivates him? I mean, you’re probably right, it would never work out. But unlike Tomoe, whose principles would call for her to ignore any attraction she has to him, Zabimaru has the freedom to pine for her, perhaps because his love is futile and he doesn’t think he deserves it anyway.”
“That’s kinda dark, dude,” Rukia frowned.
“Yes, well, that is the kind of character acting that netted me the 2019 Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Best Villain Award, Foreign Language Category.”
“That’s literally what’s going through your head when you’re shouting that if I can’t make some sick motorcycle jump, you’ll turn all my friends into stuffed animal versions of themselves?”
“No, of course not! At those times I’m thinking about how much I love my job. OH! and what is that I see!” Renji struck an extremely Zabimaru pose. “A MISTER DONUT!”
“My hero!” Rukia exclaimed, unable to resist an opportunity to shout dramatically. “I’m sorry I doubted you!”
“I think we should get some donuts, too. Orihime loves donuts,” Renji declared.
“Oh, for sure,” Rukia agreed. She was thoughtful for a moment. It would be easy to move on to a different subject, the subject being donuts, but she wasn’t happy with leaving the last conversation hanging. “Look, Renji, just because I don’t like the dumb ship, you know that’s not a reflection on you, right?”
“Huh?” Renji replied. “You mean you don’t mind if I like it?”
“Well… I mean, I don’t, I guess, but what I really meant was, er… we joke a lot, but Tomoe and Zabimaru are just parts, y’know? Just because I don’t think Zabimaru isn’t good boyfriend material doesn’t mean I…” Rukia trailed off, suddenly realizing what she was saying. “Um. What I mean is. You’re very nice and probably one of my favorite people I’ve ever worked with and if someone I knew wanted to ask you out, I would definitely encourage them to, A+ guy, I’d say, probably would make a great boyfriend.”
Renji pushed his sunglasses up onto his forehead and regarded her for a long moment. “For the record, Kuchiki, I think that both you and Tomoe would make excellent girlfriend material.” While Rukia stood there and gaped like a fish, he turned and pushed open the door to the coffee shop. “Ichigo likes crullers and Orihime always wants the most colorful thing they’ve got. Do you know what you want?”
“I need to think about it,” Rukia squeaked. She wasn’t talking about donuts.
🏍 ⚡ 🎬
Bonus: Here are my notes from when I was making up the show. I hope this wasn’t too confusing!
High-Spirited Battle Clairvoyant Tomoe!
based on a manga by reclusive mangaka Kuna Mashiro
Head Screenwriter: Kurosaki Ichigo
🌟 Starring: 🌟
Kuchiki Rukia as Yukimura Tomoe, a spunky college student who can see ghosts and fights demons from Hell! She rides a motorcycle!
Inoue Orihime as Queen Bloodbuzz, a Lady of Hell, who seeks to gather energy from the Living Realm so that she can become the Supreme Ruler of Hell. Very aesthetic. Much bees.
Abarai Renji as Zabimaru, Queen Bloodbuzz’s ruthless henchman. He leads a double life as fierce-looking, but gentle-hearted college student Satonaka Takeru! What is his long game??
#renji's birthday 2k21#my writing#this was really hard to write actually#because i had to make up SO MUCH STUFF#i hate making up stuff#astute readers will notice that i just recycled rukia and renji's fake names from between tides#i am so in love with this au tho#especially ichigo and his false pretenses ao3 accounts
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